To the boy on the pedestal:
I admit it, you hurt me. I placed so many dreams, desires and well-wishes into our potential future that I failed to see the present. I failed to see how much I was putting into us and how little you contributed. I failed to understand why I was not good enough for 30 minutes of your precious time. But you know what, that is OK. It is OK that you hurt me time and time again, because I learned a few very valuable things about myself. I learned how strong I am on my own. I learned that having a relationship with you, any type of relationship at all, was only weakening my character and self-esteem. I learned how to feel good about not being in your life. It really is your loss and not mine. But what you do not know is how long it took me to realize all of this.
You see, I kept trying to find the best in you while you kept trying to hide it from not only me, but also the world. When I saw you making something of yourself and finally going back to college, I congratulated you and cheered you on. When you got excited over the latest car you might purchase, you called me, because you knew I would answer. When things went south for you with whichever girl was replacing me, you called me. I am not sure why, but I answered. I let you go on and on about her and held my tongue. Somehow, I figured that having any relationship with you was better than having no relationship with you. I was wrong, and you took me for granted. You used me as your personal cheerleader, because, once again, I was the only one there to do so. You did not have a girlfriend who cheered you on like I did, and you were lonely. You used me as an emotional stand-in girlfriend while I searched for a friendship. And God bless me, I let you. I knew you needed someone, and I was all too ready to be that someone when I should not have been. That is my fault.
I should have let you go on your own a long time ago. I placed you so highly above all others and forgot to glance in anyone else’s direction. I would not call that being stupid as much as I would call it being naive. I did not hang around so long to be tortured, but rather to show you and our friendship loyalty. I learned that I have the capacity to be loyal to someone when they do not deserve it. I also learned that I do, indeed, have a breaking point. So, Mr. Pedestal Boy, you really did teach me a lot about not only myself, but also about you and life itself. Loyalty is much harder to come by than I originally thought, but that does not mean it does not exist. You may have broken my loyalty to you, but I still believe in trust, respect and loyalty with another person. You broke many things, but you did not break my spirit. If anything, you have raised the pedestal so that the next time a young man tries to reach it, I will know he is worth it.
Sincerely,
No Longer Yours




















