I have never given you enough credit or showed you enough gratitude for the things you have done for me throughout my life. So here is everything I wish I could say in person to you, daily.
Big brother,
When mom brought me home from the hospital, you were three years old. You knew you were no longer the center of attention, and you quickly realized that life with me was not going to be easy. Listening to mom tell stories now about our relationship at a young age still makes me bust out laughing. I grew up at the ballpark. Most of my childhood memories are there, watching you shine.
Brother, nothing made me happier.
I fell in love with the game of baseball, but I really fell in love with YOUR love for baseball. I quickly realized you were the best player on the field and it was my mission to scream the loudest encouragement for you, run Gatorades to the dugout when you were thirsty, and practice my cheerleading moves cheering you on.
At a young age that brother-sister relationship was evident. I am here to say, brothers and sisters fight. We sure did. We blew things out of proportion thousands of times, we threw objects at each other, and oh, I was always the first running to mom to tattle-tale on you. Luckily for the both of us, our baby brother was born and it was no longer just you and I, but now you had an official little brother that you quickly claimed and I think that's when our relationship suddenly changed. I was left out, alone, and playing in my room with my Barbie dolls instead of throwing the football in the yard.
I will be honest, I resented that for awhile and tried to include myself but at such young ages, none of us knew the truth of how our relationships would unfold. So flash forward twenty years, and brother, you ARE my best friend. My mom always told us growing up "family comes first."
We took that and multiplied it by 100.
As we aged, you became to depend on me for simple things such as picking out outfits for you, helping you buy a girl a Christmas gift, or heck even coming and picking you up from the bar. We have a relationship that most siblings probably would die for.
All of mom's hard work and discipline paid off immensely.
This past year you enlisted in the Army, active-duty. Can I tell you a secret? I knew all along that you were made for the military and that your passion would not be found until you found what role you would play for our country. So, four months ago you left for basic training and have since graduated. You are now at school at Fort Eustis, Virginia. I am beyond proud of you and I can not say enough how much I love you, whether you are close or overseas, I will still send care packages and love.
But here's a few things I want to tell you, that I want you to never ever forget. When the days are tough and the nights are long and you are in another country fighting for our freedom, look back at this post, and smile... because your little sister is definitely your number one fan.
1. Thank you.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for picking me up and carrying me into the hospital when I am sick. Thank you for always making sure I have everything I need. Thank you for making sure no boy ever breaks my heart. Thank you for listening when I need someone to talk to. Thank you for always giving me the best playlist of music. Thank you for bringing me home dinner if I have not eaten. On that note, thank you for making the breakfast burritos that I love when I am craving them. Thank you for taking care of my dog when I can not. Thank you for being a soldier, and signing six years away to our country's military. Thank you, big brother.
2. You are loved.
There are not enough words to describe how much I love you. Even when we are screaming at one another, I love you. When you are far away and I haven't heard from you in weeks, I love you. When we are playing board games and you win (again) I still love you. I love your determination. I love your work ethic. I love your drive. I love your focus. You have taught me so much just by showing me how love is, and how love works.
3.You are a real, strong, tough, lovable man.
You set the standards very high for me. You have made me realize that good guys do exists. Good guys that will love every single thing about me. That I deserve date nights, presents, encouragement, daily. That somewhere out there, there is a man equally as amazing as you, that will love me and never let me go. I will wait for forever for that kind of love, because I know it exists.
4. This one might be my favorite. Thank you for giving me some of the best childhood memories ever.
Thank you for teaching me the game of baseball. I am almost positive I know more about it even than some guys. Thank you for teaching me how to shoot a gun, even if it still scares me to death. Thanks for attending all my ballet recitals. Growing up and going to bars with each other and you buying me a few too many drinks. Memories that will last a lifetime. I won't share them all here, some memories are not meant to be shared.
Big brother, I doubt I could sit and read you this without tears of pride and love pouring down my face. It all needed to be said though. You are by far the best man I know. You send encouraging texts when I need them. You help me carry in groceries when I am too weak. You tell me when my outfit is ugly and I need to find something more "appropriate." You laugh at me, you cry with me, you play jokes on me. You are my heart. You have been since I was born and you will always be.
So to my big brother, and to all big brothers reading this, remember you are so appreciated by your siblings. We rarely sit down and talk deeply with one another, but I hope you know I am always thinking about you. I am so appreciative of you and all your goodness. As for my big brother, you are a light in this world. You will always be on the top of all my prayer lists, the one person I always boast about, and the one person who knows literally everything about me and my life.
As we grow and life takes us in different paths, do not ever forget the love your little sister has for you. Trust me, it's a lot.