To The Best Friend I Won't See This Summer

To The Best Friend I Won't See This Summer

I want you to have the best summer ever, but don't forget me.
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Things get crazy. We’re in college, and you live a couple thousand miles away. I feel like we met yesterday, but I also feel like I haven’t seen you in years. I love our friendship because when we finally see each other during the holidays or the next spring break, we will catch up, and it’ll be like nothing changed. Sure, a lot of sh*t happened to us this year, and you’re living it up on the west coast, but I’ll love you until the end.

Our friendship wasn’t ever perfect because nothing is, but you’re one of the most real people I’ve ever met. You taught me so much, you opened my eyes to many things and you truly shaped me to be the person I am today. We had some crazy times, and I just want to thank you for loving me through the stupid fights, the mean girls, the stress and anxiety. You always made me feel at peace when I felt crazy—I'll never be able to thank you enough for that. You taught me that a true friend is supposed to be there through the good and the bad.

I miss you like crazy, and I have so much to tell you. There was a time during senior year where I couldn’t imagine going through college without you by my side, but I realized that we’d have to go our separate ways. I always knew you’d do big things, and when people asked me where you were going to school, I felt like a proud parent given all you’ve accomplished. I can’t wait to see where you go in life. Thank you again for believing in me and supporting me through it all. I know we don’t talk every day, but I will have your back no matter what.

I want you to have the best summer ever. I want you to live it up! I want you to meet new people, spend your money on concert tickets, dye your hair and freaking love yourself. Spend some time on the beach (and for the love of all that is great, wear sunscreen). When you’re out there soaking up the rays, I hope you think back and remember the senior skip days, long talks about our future and the jam sessions to all your favorite tunes. I hope you think back to the high school years and remember us laughing, crying, having dance parties, singing at the top of our lungs in the car to the Chili Peppers and going on adventures. I'll be your gal forever.




Cover Image Credit: Lindsey Ocock

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An Open Letter To My Best Friend On Their Birthday

because your existence is something worth celebrating
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An open letter to one of my best friends on their birthday...

Hey,

First of all, I probably love your birthday more than you because it’s a day solely dedicated to your existence, and no one appreciates that more than me, and this is why.

You are always my number one. When I need someone to listen to my day, you’re there, offering a hug on a bad day, a shoulder to cry on when I’m upset, or just a few words to reassure me. Most importantly, you make me laugh. Even if I’m in a bad mood, you make me laugh. When I should be embarrassed, instead I just laugh. And when I do something ridiculous myself, you make me laugh with you about it as well. Nothing can go wrong with my partner in crime there to watch my back, and of course you know I’ve got yours too.

You never know where this next year will take you, but why should that stop you. I hope this is a year where you smile a lot, learn a lot, and love a lot. I hope you discover something new and exciting, hold on to what you’ve always loved before, and find something unexpected that will amaze you like nothing else, because honestly those are the best surprises. Just remember to take me with you if you are jumping on that bus, train, or plane to explore, because you’re not getting away from me that easily.

Not going to lie, some things will change. Nothing can stay exactly the same forever. But there will always be one fan cheering you on, a person to laugh with who loves you unconditionally, and a sarcastic friend who will keep you in your place while still supporting you to no end. And why is this? Look back at all those years (wow, you’re getting old), and look at the kind of person you’ve become. You’re pretty darn awesome if I do say so myself- you make the job of ‘proud friend’ easy for me. But then again, why do you think we’re friends in the first place? I knew you were amazing before, now you’re just old(er) and amazing. We’ll take every curve ball the world throws at us and throw it back even harder, once I actually learn how to throw.


Here’s to another year of adventures. Here’s to watching movies and videos that we will quote for months, to eating ice cream and having 5-hour phone conversations. Here’s to quoting songs and never being afraid to dance along (or have you laugh at me as I dance and sing along). Here’s to the board games that you may beat me at one day, but not today. Here’s to me being clumsy and stubborn and you being slightly less clumsy but just as stubborn. Here’s to playing would you rather and knowing random facts about each other because of it. Here’s to pizza at midnight, pancakes at noon, and cake on birthdays. Here’s to another year of having you as my best friend.

Happy Birthday!

Forever and Always,

Your person

Cover Image Credit: pinimg.com

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I'm finally Over You and it feels so good

I thought that you would be in my life forever, but now that I know you're actually gone, I can finally move on.

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I never thought that I would see the day that I would get over you, but here it is. I saw you with her and you looked happy, the type of happy that I always wanted you to be even if it wasn't going to be with me. Today was the day that I finally stopped.

I stopped searching your name on Twitter to see what you were posting. I stopped looking through girls' likes to search for your name. I stopped looking for your name when I check who watched my Snapchat stories. I stopped wishing you would finally call or text me to start things over again. I stopped wondering what you were doing all day, every day. I stopped worrying if you were doing okay or simply how your day was. I stopped waiting for you to realize what you lost. I thought it all would never stop, until everything that had to do with you finally did, and that did it: finally all stopped. I felt whole again, even without you. I am finally happy without you.

You were one of those people that I thought I would need forever, I searched for you in every person I talked to and dated, but truly, there was only you. I realized that I would never find you again unless you came back into my life, which I knew would never happen. The truth is, I'm not good at letting go and moving on, you were my knight in shining armor, my best friend. I wanted you to be there forever, but obviously there were other plans for me and I am so glad.

I thought that when you started talking to me again that next summer we could start over and become something better, but you had other plans. Your kind words and kind actions made me feel like we were back to our old selves. Looking back on that now, you didn't have any future plans with me, and we had nothing together. I remember being so hurt, sad, angry and every single emotion you could possibly feel. I thought I accepted that you were gone a long time ago, but today I actually did.

I'm going to stop looking for you in every person I talk to. I'm going to put myself out there again like I've never been hurt before. You made me hold myself back because I was waiting to give you that type of attention, not someone else. It isn't fair to the people I have hurt, just because of you. I first needed to stop being so angry at you, angry for the way you treated me, angry for how things ended, and angry that I never got closure. But, most people don't get closure and I needed to realize that things won't always go my way. I had to stop being angry at myself, I didn't do anything and at that point. I thought I ruined everything and that I did this to us; it was actually you that did this to us.

You have no control over my life anymore.

I am finally doing things for myself.

I am finally over you and actually moving on.

Cover Image Credit:

Victoria Senese

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