It was the day before I left for college. For weeks, I had been raiding yard-sales and lurking through Craigslist, but to no avail. I'd almost lost hope.

Then, with the car running in the driveway, waiting for me to make the last trip to campus before I at last peaced-out of my hometown, it came to me. Like a flash of light, a sign from whatever deity you may or may not subscribe to, I saw two words on a little piece of cardboard in the opposite driveway.

"Yard sale."

And there it was. Only seven dollars for the one I had been hunting, the one I had dreamed of for weeks–a rusty knock-off Razor scooter.

Everyone needs a scooter. Two scooters. One million scooters. Bringing a scooter to college is pretty high up there in my list of "Top Five Best Things My Brain has Ever Done for Me," so in honor of my scooter, here are the top five things your rusty knock-off Razor scooter could do for you, college student. (or, or anyone in particular. I'm inclusive. Demographics.) Let's start with the obvious:

1. Shave five minutes off your fifteen-minute walk to work.

The properties of the scoot-scoot are plentiful, but their "primary" purpose is transportation. Walking around is boring and takes all this time and lacks any inspiration to yell "Wheeeeeeee!" when going down hills. Scooting around feels like blazing Apollo's chariot across campus. While scooters aren't the fastest non-motorized vehicle around and aren't terribly effective uphill, they make up for it in visibility.

2. The entirety of your locale will recognize you without fail.

How many people do you know that scooter about all willy-nilly? Scooting through town makes quite a scene, and so often people I've never met strike up conversations with me because they know me as "the scooter kid." You can put a price on fame, my friends. It's seven dollars, no tax.

3. Calves of steel.

Working out is a lot of work. However, breaking a sweat doesn't have to be grueling. In fact, it can be a breeze. That is, a breeze blowing through your hair as you scoot along, carefree and faster than those silly pedestrians, as long as no hills get in the way. As you're having the time of your life, your legs are getting riiipped and you don't even realize it.

4. Fun at parties (to which you will always get invited).

You scoot to the party, and that's when the party starts. Whenever I go anywhere on my scooter, I tend to turn around only to find somebody scooting around on my scoot. Scooting the boot is a timeless activity that can brighten up any get-together, from house parties to "Rocky Horror" rehearsals.

5. You will be the coolest of cats.

Go to the mirror. Look at yourself. You're beautiful, but how would you look...with a scooter? (Spoiler: even beautifuller.)

I could've asked my mama for a car. I could've spend money on gas to drive myself lackluster-ly across town wishing to feel the wind in my hair, the asphalt on my scooting foot. I looked inside my heart and knew. Look inside YOURself. Is it the scooting life for you?