To Protect Your Heart Or Not To, That Is The Question

To Protect Your Heart Or Not To, That Is The Question

We all have these questions when starting a new relationship.


I always start these articles thinking I know the answers to the questions I layout, but I usually find out by the time I finish that I really don't have it figured out...not even close. The current question surrounding my love life is this: Is it all in my head?

I think the answer I have to this question right now is, yes, it's partially in my head, and no, it's not in my head at all. But that doesn't make much sense, does it?

I spend my days fantasizing about him, all the while neglecting the real version of him waiting for me on the other side of the phone. My friends know how much I think about him, but he doesn't have a clue. Right now I stand on a tight rope, doing my best to find the balance between rationality and romanticism.

How do we ever know when it's OK to fall and when we need to turn the other way?

I've been seeing David for about a month now, and he's the kind of man that women are programmed to distrust. I was wary of him the minute I saw him, and even more, wary the minute he asked me out. He's rugged and gorgeous and a bad boy with a kind heart buried underneath it all, and oh my god, he's just a recipe for disaster.

Going into the relationship, my walls were built up high. But he'd begun to knock them down, consistently asking me about my day, giving me sweet compliments, and turning to me when he was seeking comfort.

However, as the weeks go by, I find myself feeling like he should be giving more, or at least he could be if he really wanted to. We hang out about once a week, but I'd like to see him more than that. We take hours to text each other back. We dance around topics that are too serious. I'm annoyed at him for these things, but then I look at myself and realize that I'm giving even less than he is.

This brings me to perhaps the most important question: How far should we go to protect our hearts?

In this day and age, dating seems to be a waiting game of who is going to show they care more first. It's refreshing when someone exits the game and is simply honest, but I can't even do it myself, so how can I expect it from someone else?

If I'm taking a hard look at myself, I know that my protective walls come from a place of insecurity. I'm thinking, how can I ever keep the attention of a man that beautiful?

I thought about what I'd say to my friends if they were in my shoes, and I definitely would tell them that the question above is ridiculous.

When giving advice to ourselves, it's always important to look at it that way. What would you tell your best friend to do? We lose perspective when dealing with our own situations.

This week, I write to you a series of questions with no definite answers. Maybe these questions aren't always answered at once, maybe each scenario constitutes a different answer.

But I say, take a deep breath, let it unfold, and when in doubt, take the leap.

If someone is deterred by the fact that you like them or want to see them, well that's their problem, isn't it?

Maybe we don't have all the right answers, but what we can do is try to ask the right questions.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less

Raven Baxter Was Our Favorite Teen Fashion Icon And We're Still Recreating Her Best Looks, Here

We take a look at Disney's most fashion-forward show to recreate some iconic looks.

Disney Plus

I grew up in the early 2000s. And, like any child at the time, I was hooked on Disney Channel shows. My favorite was and is "That's So Raven."

Raven is a teenage psychic navigating life in hopes of not revealing her powers. Only her family and close friends know she has them. Her powers oftentimes get her in trouble, which is where the comedy comes in. But, they also teach her and her friends sentimental life lessons.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sobriety is so underrated, even when it comes to healthcare. The instant gratification of a substance or drink isn't exactly as gratifying as some people may think. For those of you who've never been hungover, consider yourself lucky — a hangover is biologically horrifying. A hangover is not instant gratification, so who are we kidding when people say "it just feels good." Being healthy actually feels good and won't hurt you or your bank account in the morning. The best way to be healthy is to choose sobriety.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ah, yes. The juice cleanse. Yet another popular diet trend that promises to magically solve all of your health, nutrition, and weight issues.

When you take a close look, juice cleanses aren't as magical as they are made out to be, and in fact, they might do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less

Unauthorized Plastic Surgery Is Totally Unethical, And Happening WAY More Often Than We Know ‬

Plastic surgery for cosmetic enhancements has you looking more botched than beautiful and it’s painful to see.

Coming from someone who could afford numerous cosmetic enhancing procedures I would never in a million years cut up my face or my body. I'm pretty emphatic and when I watch these brainwashed victims with bandages and chronic inflammation (swollen lips) I literally feel their pain.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've never been big on casual wear or athleisure. Most people who know me have never seen me in sweats. But, I do have those two or three pairs of sweats I can't resist climbing into the second I get home, the newest addition of which is the extra cozy Odyssey crewneck sweatshirt I got in an XL size to feel as close to being wrapped in a blanket at all times as possible.

In the past several months, I've started to expand my horizons, considering the ways in which I can bring my small wardrobe of comfortable bedroom clothing into the public. I've experimented with topping leggings and a sports bra with a denim jacket to the park, and an oversized sweatshirt worn as a dress, cinched at the waist with a belt when I'm out wearing leggings.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.


Insecure is one of my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less

Making A Food Instagram Was The Greatest Silver Lining To Come Out Of My COVID-19 Experience

With the crazy and scary times that 2020 has brought, find comfort in the one thing everyone loves: food.

The waiter briskly moves towards us and stops just a foot away table, balancing the black serving tray stacked high with the ceramic plates that make-up our dinner. From memorization, he beings gently, but purposely, sliding everyone's orders in front of them and within seconds I'm am starring my meal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments