To my White friends that think it’s okay to say N*gga (or any variation of the word):

Throughout the article I will be abbreviating this word as "the n-word" because I felt it was too sensitive of a word, and a topic, for it to be spelled out.

You know what n-word I’m talking about, and if you’re not Black you need to stop using it. It’s not just White people who have to stop using the word, either, but non-black people of color as well.

The word started off as a descriptor for “negro”, but evolved in the 17^th century into the derogatory term "n*gger" by White Europeans who were buying, selling, and enslaving Black African Americans. During a time period where White people beat, starved, and violently or sexually assaulted enslaved Blacks. And once these enslaved people were “freed,” White Americans created Jim Crow laws to keep them segregated, oppressed, and again violently and sexually assaulted them. You can’t argue with this, these are well-known facts. The word was invented by White people, who were and are a dominant social class, as a derogatory word for Black people used as a method of oppression and segregation. Although today legal segregation and oppression is illegal the ideology still exists, and the word is still used in this manner by some individuals. Presently it remains one of the most racially offensive words in the language. Which means we do not have the right to use this word. Ever.

Although using the n-word is not illegal and there are no criminal punishments to the usage, the progress made during the Civil Rights Movement has made using the n-word socially "illegal". That means if a White person were to casually use the n-word they can face social ramifications like: being labeled as a racist, getting physically assaulted, or losing a job or friendship. It’s not even okay to use this word in private spaces, like among friends and family. Yet, somehow behind closed doors many White and non-black individuals are still using it. Employing this word in these contexts does not mean that you are privately controlling it because the word can still take on a life of its own when it’s not in private "controlled" environments.

I understand that Black people use the word all the time, but that does not mean in any way, shape, or form, that you get to use the word too. Certain White people have become comfortable with using the n-word because they’ve grown up on hip-hop that regularly tosses this word around. White children and young adults are statistically the largest consumers of hip-hop, and because of the regular use of the n-word in this music these White youths then feel like it's acceptable for them to use that word too. But newsflash, (most, if not all) Black youths find it extremely offensive when their White peers use this word. Don’t be surprised if you use this word in front of a Black individual and they try to fight you over it. Even if some of your Black friends or associates accept you using the term, it does not mean that every Black individual will feel the same way because every Black person has a different attitude about the n-word.

Many White individuals argue that it’s just a word and therefore everyone should be able to say it, but the n-word is more than just a word. For some people it can inflict emotional triggers caused by the pain of enduring racism on a daily basis, for generations. For non-black individuals to look down on Black individuals for having a sensitivity to this racial slur, they are exercising a privilege. Just because the word doesn’t harm you doesn’t mean that everyone else can so easily forget it’s oppressive implications. White people even questioning the acceptability of using that word demonstrates White privilege.

White people always think every conversation, space, and action should include them. Black individuals have always been taught to praise whiteness, white religions, traditions, and ideals. As White people we have the privilege of having our voices and presence recognized and valued. And if you think otherwise, I highly suggest you educate yourself. Because we are so used to being welcome into spaces with open arms, we absolutely hate it when we are told that we cannot be a part of something. But here’s a "fun" fact: we are the ONLY race that is allowed into whatever racialized context we want, and have our voices heard – especially if you’re a White cisgender man, but that’s a different story.

This is OUR privilege, which means we cannot be angry when we are excluded from racialized conversations and spaces, or when we are denied the usage of certain words. The usage of the n-word is the one thing that a Black person can get away with saying with no fear or consequence, that a White person CANNOT get away with saying. White people cannot continue to expect to be included in everything. Not being allowed to use this one word does not in any way mean we as a race are being discriminated against. I promise you it’s not racist against White people to make certain things off limits to us when we are the people of privilege. It is not a double standard, because if you’d like a real example of a double standard I suggest you re-read the first paragraph.

White people need to get over the fact that we’re not allowed to use this word. We aren’t connected to it in a positive manner, and it does not enhance our well-being or experience in any way. When White people use the n-word it creates conflict, because it’s not our word and when we use it we are trying to control it, or be a part of a culture we cannot (and will not) fully understand.

But regardless of how awful this word is or how casually some individuals use it, White people need to understand that the n-word was used historically by White people as a term of power and control over an entire population of people. I understand that a majority of White people are not like their slave-owning or pro-segregationist ancestors, but when this word is used casually it is a reminder of the power that once existed. A Black person’s usage of the n-word is really the only thing a Black person can do to overcome the dominant society, and use it as a form of expression that displaces that dominance.

Freedom of speech has nothing to do with this matter, it’s about courtesy and respect for this group of human beings. Non-black individuals that choose to use the n-word, despite its offensive nature, are creating entitlement over a slur that has caused physical and metaphysical harm to Black people. Instead, as an exercise of empathy and cross-cultural understanding, make an effort to understand and respect how the Black people you interact with may feel about your usage of the n-word.

As a general rule, just avoid the word whenever possible, especially in your personal usage, because as a White person you shouldn’t use the n-word anymore.