To My Best Friend I Found In An Unexpected Place

To My Best Friend I Found In An Unexpected Place

"It's strange how we find the best of friends in the most unexpected people." - Aly hunter
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Dear Best Friend,

I can honestly say that I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Who knew that me popping my head in your dorm room to compliment your room would lead to us being friends, let alone lead to us being as close as we are.

We’ve only been friends for a year, but honestly, it seems like a lot longer than that. And you came at the perfect time whether you know that or not. I had just switched majors and already lost contact with a lot of the people I called my friends during my first semester of college, so I was alone. And then you were there.

To me, it felt like we had been friends for a long time from the start. I was surprised by it, but it was a good thing! I was comfortable confiding in you from the get-go which I have trouble doing when it comes to certain things.

Thank you for knowing how to deal with me when my depression hits. Thank you for reminding that there are other guys out there than the one I tend to get caught up on. Thank you for being there when I need to vent about something that happened.

Thank you for offering advice when I feel confused. Thank you for introducing me to a lot of people I can now call my friends too. Thank you for accepting my weirdness and not judging me.

Just know that I support you 100 percent in all you do. I know you’re going to do great things, and I can’t wait to see them happen for you. Both of us have changed so much this past year, and you’ve been a big part of me having more confidence. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I’m still proud to call you my best friend.

ilysm.

Cover Image Credit: Erika Marietta

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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How To Resolve An Argument And Make Everyone Happy

It's not easy, but it is possible to solve a disagreement with compromise.

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I wouldn't classify myself as a "confrontational" person. I tend to avoid situations with big crowds, controversial topics, and people who have short tempers. However, to all the people reading who have trouble voicing their opinion, there is a time when everyone has to disagree with something. It might be over food, going out, or more serious topics such as politics. I feel that the one disagreement most of us face is when we are in a relationship, whether that be with a friend or partner.

Typically when someone feels strongly about a topic or situation, they aren't going to change their minds. A common misconception is that "maybe if I talk louder and say another reason why I'm right, the other person will suddenly change their mind and I will win." There are two problems here. First of all, no one ever backs down. If they feel what they are saying is right, nothing you can say to convince them will work. The other problem is that solving an argument means everyone wins, not one person.

Something I've experienced is when something bothers me, I usually don't say anything and let it slide. This causes problems in the future because of what I like to call: the Snow Ball Effect. A little thing gets blown over and it tumbles and tumbles until it's a huge problem. If something bothers you in your relationship, sleep on it, and if it still bothers you in the morning try talking about it with the other person. This solves the problems while they are small instead off waiting for a huge blow up to occur.

It's important to bring something up in your relationship in a particular manner. The situation can go south if it starts with "Look, I hate when you play that video game and you don't have time to hang out." In this case, the person will feel attacked because you are referencing that they are the entirety of the problem and likely not look for a compromise.

If you are going to bring up something that may start an argument, begin your sentences with "I feel." For example, I've said in another article about how my boyfriend is addicted to Fortnite. If his obsession ever got in the way of our plans and it bothered me, I would start my sentence off with, "I feel upset when we can't hang out because of video games." This allows the other person to see how their actions have affected you. Once you have established how you feel, you can suggest a compromise such as having certain times to play video games and others to hang out.

You've probably heard the phrase "three is the magic number" (shoutout to "School House Rock.") If an argument ever gets out of hand and there need to be changes in order to seek a compromise, try saying, "here are three things I'm going to try and do/change in order to get along." Then, ask them what they think they should change. Since you are the first person offering to adjust in order to correct the problem, they will likely be willing to as well.

Arguments are a daily occurrence and come in all types of severity. As long as you are trying to get along with someone who is willing to compromise, just keep a level head and things will work out.

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