Where do I even begin?

As I am getting ready to take my next step and move on from my years at Idaho State, I find myself really struggling with the idea of saying goodbye to my sisters and my life as an active member of Alpha Xi Delta. This sisterhood has been my lifeline in college from the moment I joined, until now, and I know that after I have left my university there are many sisters who will remain to touch my life and be my friends forever.

I am so thankful for everything that Alpha Xi Delta has given me, so as I reflect, I decided to write a... "senior will" per-say. A list of all the things that I want to leave to the girls who have become my family over the past four years. My wishes for them, my hopes for the chapter, and my sincerest thanks for the infinite times they have saved me.

To my pledge class sisters,

Thank you for going through it all with me. From our first awkward picture on bid day to our final dinner together at Chili's, I couldn't be more thankful for the memories we've shared. I can't think of anyone better to have grown with, changed with, laughed with, and failed with during the "hot mess" that simply is the college experience and I will never forget the ways that each of you touched my life. I hope you all know how much you inspire me. Between the ambition that each of you possesses, the passion you exhibit for the things that you believe in, and the uncanny ability to make me laugh until I cry just from yelling "get off my dick!" at each other, I am so lucky to be constantly surrounded by some of the best people I ever know. Here's to our legacy, PC' 13. Our years at Idaho State may be coming to an end, but our memories will last us a lifetime.

To my Big,

Thank you for picking up my pieces. I know I've said it a million times, and I'll say it a million more, but you were always the person I needed to fix me when I was broken. Your patience, kindness, and selflessness are things that have touched my heart and will stick with me forever, and I hope you know how much I have always appreciated them. Thanks for standing by my decisions (even when they were the worst), for teaching me how to be a big and a friend, and for believing in me when I sure as hell didn't believe in myself. I hope you know that I will never stop obsessing over you, and rooting for you, because I think you're the coolest. I love you to Xi moon.

To my Little,

Thank you for letting me constantly obsess over you, get into shenanigans with you, and mother you (occasionally). You have touched my heart in such a big way in the past couple of years, and I can't wait to watch you grow in the years to come. I've never met someone with more ambition, dedication, spontaneity, and love to give than you, Little. I hope that you don't ever let anyone take those things away from you. I hope you know that there is nothing in the world that I love more than being your big, and even when I'm old and graduated and don't get to see your smiling face everyday *insert all the tears here* I will never stop being there for you. (and yes, that includes driving 4 hours in the middle of the night to kick the crap out of someone who makes you sad, to deliver a redbull at 2 AM because you have a biochem test, or to set off floating lanterns and then chase them because I have anxiety). You are going to change the world Little, and I'm so lucky to get to be someone who supports you while you do it.

To my president,

THANKS FOR SAVING MY LIFE EVERYDAY AND FOR TOLERATING MY NEEDINESS.