The cookies are frosted, the tree is lit. The stockings are hung and the carols are sung. Family comes into town and the roads are iced. The signs during Christmas are just more painful reminders of spending another holiday without you.

I know you didn't chose to go, trust me, I didn't want you to. We both know it was best that you did for you are no longer in any pain.

I get the car started, brush off the snow, get inside and it is playing. That song that seems to have your voice whispering in the background all of the words.

I still hang your stocking by the chimney with care in hopes that Saint Nicholas would have a miracle to spare. I put the cookies out and open the fireplace, hoping that you will slide back into my life; healthy as can be.

Missing you around the holidays is harder at this time. All the family gets together; the food is passed, alcohol is well over served. Nothing seems to numb the fact that you're no longer here with us.

We know what is real, we know what has been done. The cancer had gotten to all of you, all of my hopes were gone.

I know you're spending Christmas in Heaven this year, as you have for the past few. I just wanted to know that we're missing you down here a little more, too.

The doctors did what they could, or so they say. But what they'll never understand is the pain, the sadness and the grief we're forced to feel every day. The days they drag, the pain, it kills. They don't realize that every time a song plays on the radio, that song, brings the hottest tears to your eyes.

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time. The greatest time of year. The biggest trees, the biggest bows, and the biggest prayers. Christmas time is just different now.

Missing you is hard. Missing you is tough. We try to fill that void with other things but nothing ever seems to be enough.

I miss you now more than I missed you then. But I know there will come a time where we meet again. Your beautiful smile, your contagious laugh. I miss them every day.

The holidays are hard, this we all know. But there is a star shining in heaven with a little bit more of a vibrant glow.

We miss you, we love you, we will always care for you so. For in our hearts, just like a Christmas tree, you will always glow.

Merry Christmas to you in Heaven. I love you.