You know the old saying, "you can't pick your family?" It couldn't be more true for me.

I can't really call my family "family." Why? Why is always the question. I never know what to expect or what to see. All my family does is bully me. Why? I have no clue.

Family is supposed to be where you can go and love them for who they are, not for what they are. But I guess for them, it's what they are and not who they are.

I can't call anyone my family nowadays. Everyone is so dependent on everyone else and expects them to do what they don't want to do.

My family bullies me till I hit my breaking point. What is my breaking point?

This is where I go and be pissed off at the world, where I sit in my room and cry because I'm hurt, thinking that I'll never catch a fucking break.

The sad part is I cannot go to family traditions because I get picked on for no reason. They say they pick on me because "they love me."

Crap.

The other sad part?

I don't want a bad reputation and with my family, and it's making me want to have a bad one because that's how fucked up my family is. I have never seen so much disrespect that my family has for others.

I don't have respect for my family. I've just lost so much respect, and it hurts me to the point that I sometimes I just stay in my room and stay away from people.

I wish I could say I love my family, but I don't, and since you can't choose your family, that's what I deal with. They all don't understand that I want nothing to do with them or anything to do with anyone in the family.

They don't understand what it's like to grow up deaf and be bullied and then to have your family do it constantly. That is why the meaning of my family is effed-up. I don't want to be in the effed-up family anymore, to be honest.

I can't wait to prove them wrong.

I can't wait to prove them wrong that I will graduate college with my associates and move to Virginia or Maryland or South Carolina. I hope my family knows that when I go to the south, I'm not coming back just for them.

I'm not effing... sorry! I always stay very distant from my whole family, and I am not sorry about that either.