Recently, my mom has been having issues with her heart, issues that haven’t made themselves present for more than a decade, and since the issues began to resurface, my mom has reassured me of her ever-present strength in the face of adversity that I hadn’t really noticed in a very long time. It’s not that my mom doesn’t show me and the rest of the world how strong she is every day, it’s that I’ve grown so used to her strength that it doesn’t even occur to me how hard she must be working, or how heavy her heart might be at any given moment. With all that has been going on, with all that she has been going through, she deserves to know that I have never been prouder of anyone in my entire life. So, mom, this one is for you.

Mom, for my entire life I have observed you in every aspect of your life and there was not one single moment that I wasn’t aware of how incredible you are. Though I’ve always been very aware of this, I’ll be honest, there were times I took you for granted. I had grown so used to your strength and love that I didn’t see a reason to draw attention to it, to acknowledge it, to even commend you for it. Maybe it’s because of that, maybe it’s because you never really like to draw attention to the real struggles in your life. That’s not to say you don’t complain about the little things just like everyone else (like when you get a head cold or when you lose your mind when my bathroom is dirty), you just don’t tend to make the big stuff seem as big as they really are. You think that if you don’t tell me that you’re struggling that I won’t worry, but it's like when you always know that something is bothering me even if I don’t say it, I know when something is bothering you even if you don’t say it.

You think that if you tell me that the tightness in your chest or the shortness of breath is nothing to be concerned about, that I’ll just brush it off and let go of what little worry I had, but that isn’t what happens. Instead, when you tell me you’re okay and I watch you attempt to hide the pain that you’re feeling, I only worry more. But the way that you downplay it, the way you tell me things could be worse when it really doesn’t feel that way reminds me of how strong you are. You would rather suffer alone than worry the family, but when someone else is in pain there isn’t bone in your body that would dare downplay their struggle. But, I think you forget that it’s okay to ask for help.

Every day I learn from you, and now you get to learn from me. I understand, you’d rather go it alone than bother anyone, but it’s okay to let go. That’s what I’m here for, you raised me to be just like you without even knowing it, so you raised me to never let someone push me away and never let someone suffer alone. So, in essence, you did this to yourself and I’m not going anywhere. I get that you are independent, every bit of independence I have comes from you, but you can still maintain your independence while asking for help every once in a while, I learned that from you, but how often do you practice that advice? Not once in my life did you make me feel like I was weak for asking for help, so I maintain the belief that asking for help is not a weakness at all, it actually shows an unbelievable level of strength. You taught me that.

So, the next time work feels like it is consuming you or your health begins to dwindle, when your world feels heavy and your heart feels weak, know that if I ever grow to be half the woman that you are today then I will be more than content (even if you'll reject that notion, because you don't believe in pinnacles or glass ceilings or invisible barriers). If I can be half as strong as you, if I can bear half of the weight that you carry every day then I will consider myself a warrior. You'e raised me to demand respect, to carry the weight that others simply can't, to never let someone determine what I can bear or how far I can go. Your strength is overwhelming, it's undeniable. You are so powerful and so beautiful, and there is nothing in this world that I love to brag about more than the fact that you're my mom, and I could not put into words the amount of love and adoration that I have for you.