You taught me from my first day that the most important thing to do is to love. You and Dad had a humble, graceful, silly and strong marriage. You showed me, through your actions, that fairytale love exists.
Your life was safe, good, and you were happy. You had found your Best Friend and you married him. You were a stay at home mom, had two daughters, a stepson, and a husband who had a great job.
Then things changed.
You learned your Best Friend had stage four Cancer. You were not guaranteed anything other than that he would not live.
Your husband would be gone.
Your children’s Father would be gone.
I can’t imagine what was going through your mind and I’m sorry the entirety of pain fell directly onto your shoulders first.
The story did not play out in our favor. The love of your life and your children’s Father had to leave. Writing those words now, six years later, makes my heart break for you.
I am sorry that it took me so long to understand what you were going through. I was 13-years-old trying to figure out why everything was happening and you were always next to me holding my hand telling me that everything is going to be okay and that God’s plan is greater than ours. You put me before you every single time, and that is a love I am still learning to comprehend. During the time, you were breaking yourself to put me back together and taught me valuable lessons that I will forever hold dear to my heart.
You filled Dad’s shoes, alone. You showed up to every softball game keeping score with the rocks on the ground and cheered for me when I made a good play, just like dad did. You never fully understood the game but you didn’t need to, you understood that I needed you by my side and that is all that mattered to me.
You listened to cringe-worthy viola playing, nasal singing and out of tune guitar playing with a smile. Thank you for driving me around to private lessons, and sitting through three-hour concerts when I only knew how to play three notes.
You stood by my side when I wanted you to leave. At 13, I was trying to find who I was when the world was taking away everything I knew I loved and everything that loved me, but you stayed. You dried my tears as they fell down my freckled cheeks and braided my red hair back into a French braid to keep it out of my face so I could see clearly.
You taught me that love is a choice. That loving someone is not always easy, in fact, that it rarely ever is, but that it is worth it. That when times are hard you find more about yourself and the person you love than you would have ever known is the waters were always smooth.
More than all of the lessons you taught me, you are unaware of the lesson that means the most to me. You taught me to want to be more like you everyday. You walk with grace, confidence and are never afraid to fail. You use laugher and hugs to solve almost everything. You always forgive and never stay bitter. You treat others with respect and love no matter how they act towards you. Without you I would not be who I am today. I am proud to have my mothers blue eyes and big smile, but more importantly I am proud to have a glimpse of the way you see the world instilled in me from the way you raised me.
The more I learn about you everyday amazes me. I challenge myself daily to be more like you. I admire you for your full worth and I am so eternally grateful to call you my Best Friend and Mom.
