Dear Momma,

Mother's Day has come around once again, and this year will be the third year without you on your special day. All I can think about is how we spent it back when you were around; happy, smiling, and laughing. I'd treat you to something, like lunch or making breakfast in bed for you. I remember you saying that you wanted a simple day off to relax, so that was what you got. Other years, you would actually spend Mother's Day doing what mothers love to do: gardening and hanging out with your children.

Obviously, Mother's Day is not and will never be the same. I can't treat you to anything anymore. I won't see your face light up anymore. I won't see you digging in the mulch and pulling weeds in our flower garden anymore. I won't see you relaxing on this day meant for you and all that you do for us.

Yes, I miss you being here physically with us. But I am always aware that you are constantly around me in your beautiful, motherly spirit. You'll never stop being my mom, and I'm still going to be the daughter who appreciates you. After all, you deserve it without question.

I am so glad that God chose you to be my mother. I wouldn't want anybody else. During my teenage years, we fought constantly and I didn't seem to care because I was in the process of growing up. I turn 20 in a month, and I still need you. I need you now more than ever.

I am a firm believer that you visit me and see me every day in some way. I was upset the past couple days, and I saw you in my dreams. I was also told that human spirits come to us through the form of a bird. I was crying in my car, my emotions just rolling out because I was having a bad moment. A pigeon flew up, sat on the hood of my car, and stared at me. It cocked its head like it was confused as to why I was sobbing uncontrollably. I noticed it and smiled. I felt better. I knew it was you. One does not stop being a mother once she becomes one. You still show it, even in spirit.

I love thinking that you're not entirely gone. Because of this, there would be absolutely no reason to not celebrate you anymore. Every Mother's Day will still be your day. You will never be forgotten. I will think about you way more than I already do. I will reminisce on the beautiful moments shared with you. I will look back on your smile and beauty. I will think about every little thing you did for us. You are still the best mother in this entire universe.

I miss you. Did I already mention that like once or twice?

But what am I saying? Although Mother's Day is a day meant to celebrate all of the mothers, you didn't really need just a certain 24 hours to be appreciated, celebrated, and remembered. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and you nailed it every single day. You gave it your all, even through the tough times. I can only hope to be at least half the mother you were.

You taught us so many things about life. Sometimes I may have taken you for granted, maybe when I was angry with you. But today, as I write this, I wish I never acted that way even for a second. With you, I realized more and more that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life was to be lived without regret. You had to do the best you could, each and every day... or you could sit back and give up. You wouldn't want to back down, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want us to do that either. This Mother's Day, for you, I won't give up.

Even though this day is dedicated to mothers, I look at Dad as well. I do this because he has been both a mother and a father for the past (almost) 3 years. I can tell he struggles sometimes, and he knows it's hard. But I know you're there for him to give him that push. You're by his side, helping him out when the going gets really tough. He is appreciated on this day, too, because he has taken on both roles. I don't know how he does it, but it does it well. I'm proud of him, and I know you are too.

I get really sad when I see other people post pictures with their mothers, and it makes me miss you even more. I feel alone. But I know that I'm not. You're still here... just not in physical form. I've learned that's alright.

On this Mother's Day, and every one afterward, I will remember you and think of you more. I will think of how happy you were, and how awesome you were. You are honored and appreciated. I will send some of your favorite flowers up to Heaven.

Mom, I miss you so much! I love you. Continue to watch over us, angel.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there, and also to the fathers who take on that role! You are all awesome!