Usually, when the first child goes off to college, it’s more of a big deal than the other siblings, at least from my first-child perspective. You are the first child going away to college, and you may even be the first person in the family going to college, so there’s a lot to figure out. Luckily for my family, I’m a pretty tame specimen for a first child and there weren’t too many screaming blow-out fights (only about one per year) as my parents and I adjusted to the change.
But now my little sister is in her final weeks at home before she goes off on the big college adventure, and I’m having a hard time emotionally and mentally grappling with this. So, to my little sister who’s going away to college:
Don’t walk home from a party alone.
If you need or just want to get the heck out of there, grab a friend and leave. Call an Uber, or even a cab. I’ll pay you back for it, but don’t be the girl who stumbles away from a party without anyone knowing where they are or where they’re headed. I value you and your safety too much for that to happen.
You are not alone.
College is a huge transition and I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry in my dorm a decent amount freshman year, and sophomore year, and even junior year. But don’t ever think that whatever you’re crying about you have to face alone. I am here to tell you that, yes, you are being dumb about that boy, so find someone who treats you how you deserve, and I am also here to tell you that while stress might not go away instantly, I know a million and one ways to make it better. If the kind of help I can give isn’t enough, your college (and every other one too) offers so many health resources so that you can talk about your problems, get checked out if you think you’re sick and even sometimes get a free massage!
Use the college resources.
This may sound silly, but it’s true. Every college has some awesome resources that they offer, and our parents are paying enough in tuition that you might as well get the most bang for their buck. Whether it’s an academic resource, or a little later on, a career resource, take the time to use it to your advantage. You won’t be disappointed.
Those friends may not always be your friends.
And that’s OK. You’re going to meet so many wonderful people in college, some that will be a part of the rest of your life. But you will also meet a much larger chunk of people who will only be around for a little while. The relationships that are meant to last, will. So don’t sweat it or feel awkward about that one girl from orientation that you swore you’d be friends with for four years that you don’t even see around anymore.
The freshman 15 does not make you any less wonderful or beautiful.
You may gain weight, or you may lose weight. You may stay the same. Do not base your self-image or your self-worth or your perceived beauty on a number on a scale. As long as you take care of your body and as long as you feel healthy, any extra weight is just more for me to hug when I see you next.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything.
It could be as trivial as a club that you just don’t want to join or it could be something with legal consequences. You’re independent now, yes, but you will become a whole new brand of independent in college and you deserve to exercise that right. Never let someone make you feel like you owe them anything, and never feel like you have to do something just because of something someone else has or is.
Become the very best version of yourself.
I already think you’re the most amazing thing in the world. But college is going to change you, and that’s OK. There’s a lot of factors in your life right now that may be suppressing your true awesomeness potential, and that was the same for me when I was your age. But in college, you have so much at your fingertips, and so many experiences and opportunities completely at your disposal that you may have not had in high school, so you’re going to blossom into this even more incredible version of yourself. So welcome those experiences and those opportunities.
Don’t forget about boring old me.
We have a great relationship now and we talk regularly. But don’t forget about me being my boring Type A, 'one party a semester' self while you go live the full college experience. Maybe FaceTime me every once in a while so I can see your walk to class, or at least so I can screen shot you at the most unflattering moments.
Love you always.
