Hey you,
It's me. Your friend, Irina. I know we haven't talked in a while and maybe that's my fault. I don't know. What I do know is that I miss you and our special times together. I miss our late night texting sessions, our coffee dates and everything in between. I miss knowing that you were only a phone call away no matter what I needed you for. I miss our late night talks and the good times we shared. What I don't miss is the way you treated me.
As much as I miss you, i don't like the way you would only be there for me if it was convenient for you. I never wanted to feel like an option but that's how it honestly felt sometimes. I felt like I was your second choice and was your back up when your other friends had plans. I felt like you only would reach out and be there for me when it benefited you and that felt totally unfair.
So yes I miss you, but I wish things could have been different between us. I wish we could have had more time to bond, more laughs to share and more memories to make. I would have liked if you would have reached out more. I felt like I was always present in our relationship but you were only there some of the time. If you're my friend, I want you to be my friend and not only show up when it is in your best interest.
I want us to continue to be friends but I want our friendship t be on an even playing field. I want us both to reach out equally and not have it be solely a one wayed relationship. Friendship is a two way street, give and take and it can't be one wayed. If we are friends I expect more from you. I expect you to pull your weight in the relationship and give as much as you receive. I want us to lift one another up and be there through the good times and the bad.
At the end of the day, I wish you could have been there more often for me. There were times when I needed you and you simply weren't there to support me or told me you were busy. There have been happy memories I've wanted to share with you but alas you weren't there time and time again. I want to share my triumphs with you as I want to celebrate yours with you. I want us to be there for one another through thick and thin, no matter the circumstances. I want you to know that I'll always be there for you; to catch you when you fall and help you return to your feet once more.
I want our relationship to blossom but it can only do so if we are both in this together. No more one wayed nonesesnse. I want to be friends with you for life and hope you feel the same way about me. You are one of the most genuine people I know and I would hate to lose you as a friend. I just want you to be there more often. I know you can do it. I believe in you.
Much love and hope for a better future,
Irina
