I am a true believer in thinking everything happens for a reason, but there are some things in life I truly do not understand and probably never will.
It is said that the good ones die too young, and honestly I can say that is sometimes true.
To my Friend in Heaven,
I would say the worst part about you leaving this Earth so soon is the fact I did not get to say goodbye the way I wish I could have. You were not able to be there to tell me everything was going to be okay. I did not know the last time we saw each other, the last time we spoke, was going to be the last time, forever. If I somehow would have known I would have laughed a little longer, hugged a lot tighter, and not taken the time we spent for granted.
Getting that call that you were really gone was something I was not ready to hear, but having to see you in your casket was something I really was not ready to see. It did not truly hit me until I needed someone to talk to and realized you were the person I was not able to call.
People told me it was going to get easier, but when? No one was really sure.
Honestly, I was not ready for reality to hit, and I wanted to say I am sorry it took a little while for me to come visit you. The fact that I would be sitting at your gravestone talking to what seemed like myself was not something I was ready to face.
When I was finally ready to come visit you was the day I thought I was ready for closure, but I realized something else. Sitting there staring into the sky I thought I was going to feel alone, but then I realized you were still there with me. As I sat in the crisp winter snow, venting to the world, I realized you were still listening when I needed someone the most. Even though you could not say anything back to me, you made things better, just like you always did before you passed. Right then and there was when I realized I would never be alone, but a part of you would always be with me wherever I go.
Although I will not get to see your contagious smile and laugh endlessly with you, I know you will always be by my side to keep me going each day. I know when the sky is blue and the sun is shining that you are smiling down on all of us.
Physically you may not be here, but mentally I know you are. You will never be forgotten and people will never stop loving and missing you.
To my friend in heaven, I know you will forever be there when I need it because that is the kind of person you always were and continue to be.
