To My Best Friend During This Difficult Time

To My Best Friend During This Difficult Time

My friend, you will get through this time with love.
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My dearest friend,

So, recently life has decided to take a turn and throw some curve balls your way. Unfortunately, for you, they weren't avoidable. The one thing I want to say to you is that I am here. I am here when you wake up in the middle of the night because of a dream that reminded you of this hard time. I am here when you can't sleep because thoughts are going through your head. I am here when you feel like the world is ending and nothing seems to get better. I am here when the dust settles and everyones lives, including your own start going back to normal.

I want you to know that this difficult time is going to change you as a person. It is going to make you stronger, and an even better person than you already are. Being in this position is something I do not wish on anyone, especially because I have felt the feelings you are feeling now. I want you to know that you will push through this hard time and make your father even more proud than he already was, no I'm sorry is. He is proud of you.

My friend, you are facing one of the hardest times in your life, and you will get through it with the help of the ones you love, myself included. I know right now I do not know how or what you are feeling, but I do know that you will get through it, and I will try my best to understand. Knowing you have dealt with so much pain in such a short amount of time sickens me, because you do not deserve it. So now, it's time to work through the pain and let me be a friend to you. Let yourself cry or laugh or do whatever, but do not let this take over you. I am proud to know you my dear friend, and I will help you through this difficult time.

Love, the friend who is always here

Cover Image Credit: Kara Hickey

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Christian Boys Vs. Godly Men

It is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.
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Ladies, there is a huge difference between a Christian boy and a Godly man; therefore, it is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.

So many times I hear girls saying:

“Well, he’s a Christian.”

“He goes to church with me.”

“He listens to Christian music.”

“He went to church camp.”

“He has a favorite bible verse.”

SEE ALSO: What An Attractive Man Looks Like

Well, all of those things are just peachy and there is nothing wrong with doing those things. I mean, they’re all good things to do. But how is his personal relationship with God? How is his prayer life? Does he talk about his relationship with God, with you? Is he truly a follower of the one true God in all aspects of his life? These are some of the characteristics you should be looking for that makes a Godly man.

Ladies, a man will love you great when he loves God greater.

A Godly man will pursue an honest relationship with you. He will be clear of his intentions. A Godly man will worship, pray and passionately praise God with you. Whereas, a Christian boy might open the door for you, a Godly man will open his bible and explore God’s word with you so that you both may grow spiritually, together. While a Christian boy may put on an outward show, a Godly man will live out the love of Jesus daily.

So ladies, are you catching on to this ongoing trend? A Godly man does more because you deserve more.

A Godly man will be a leader. Trust me, I know that in today’s society Godly men are few and far between while Christian boys come in plenty. But you deserve a man who is after God’s heart not just a boy who goes to church. And I know that this Christian boy may seem great and have some really stellar qualities at the time but money and looks fade, whereas, an ongoing love for our savior will not.

The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is to lead her closer to God than himself. (Yes, yes, yes).

SEE ALSO: As Christians, Life Isn't Supposed To Be Hard

So I beg of you, do not settle. Do not settle just because you’re tired of being single, it’s convenient or because you want the relationship your friend has. Single does not equal available and a relationship status does not define you. God uses your season of singleness to prepare you for what is to come. And if you’re dating a Christian boy, he needs to step it up or you need to move on. Wait for a Godly man who is ready to lead you. God’s timing is always better, always. No matter the circumstance. So, do not rush God. (I mean, He is, after all, pretty good at His job). Therefore, turn your full focus to Him and He will direct your path.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Cover Image Credit: Christina Sharp

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Shockingly, There Is Strength In Being Weak

Abandon the idea that you do not deserve to be taken care of. You do!

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The one challenge in having a brave face, is others never considering there are moments you may not be. It is a beautiful yet complicated gift to be able to provide comfort to others. To be the person your friends and family turns to in times of crisis. Just remember that those who offer help, may need help sometimes too.

Lately, I have been struggling. Having flares of anxiety and repetition of old behaviors, that I am not so proud of. I am so kind to others facing struggle, but I have yet to understand the importance of offering myself the same respect.

Some may suggest therapy, seeking out health professionals. For many that may work. And if that is a tool that works for you, power to you! If you feel comfortable with the process pursue it! For myself, I am not. And I will tell you why.

I have yet to swallow my pride. To understand that the strong fail too. Oh how I despise failing. And I think fear of failure comes from my own personal expectations, to hold it "together". Because if I fall, who will those closest to me lean on? I have strength, therefore if I fall, we all do.

That may sound like an idiotic sentence, and while forming the words I recognize how false a statement it is. However, this is a deep rooted issue for many individuals. And for me this is something I struggle with. Allowing for the world to see my weakness.

One of my best friends, who has recently opened my eyes said to me, " To have the courage to ask for help is not you showing weakness, but strength." It takes a great deal of strength to open up. I find myself suppressing my emotions. Meanwhile, I write weekly about confronting your past. Yet I struggle in the practice I preach.

That is not weakness, yet it is a glimpse of reality. I am thankful for my friend, who noticed a shift within me, to speak up and make sure that I recognize that I am falling. Sometimes you cannot only rely on yourself, and you need to admit that you need help.

My greatest joy is helping others but again I cannot find the generosity in my heart to offer it to myself. I was wrestling with the "why". Why I cannot allow for others to worry about me, why I simply do not want other people to worry about me. It is because that is my job. Then I realized, being a brave individual goes hand in hand with wanting control.

I struggle with allowing for myself to be a mess. To admit when I have lost control of who I am. The issue with a brave face? You rarely let others see you cave. So those around you assume you are stedfast, strong, in control, without a shadow of a doubt ; okay.

I understand not each individual is intuitive. That people miss the signs of when others emotional well beings are compromised. I am grateful for my best friend and her intuitive mind and heart. Recognizing that I have not been completely myself as of late, just an extension.

For those of you , who feel you lack the skill. Those who are not capable of reading between the lines, noticing lack of bravery, please I advise you to check up on the ones who you are usually so sure that are "okay". A simple, "how are you", goes a very long way.

I know I was hoping all day that someone would recognize I was not so myself and ask the question. Thankfully, my best friend did. It is nice to know someone sees you. To understand that you're human, and to remind you that you're human. The brave are allowed to fall.

I note that this also means, the brave need to allow for transparency. Because when you allow for others to see your struggle, it is easier for them to then offer a helping hand. Break your silence, even if it proves that you are not always brave.

Each individual has strengths and weaknesses. My weakness? Being weak. Allowing for myself to strip off the mask of " I am okay", and revealing the " I am not okay".

Again, to be brave is in fact a complicated gift. Being emotionally strong for others, does not mean you do not deserve to also be taken care of. To be offered the same respect of healing and love. Leave behind the idea that those managing others issues, means they can manage their own. Even the bravest of walls can come falling down.

It does not take long to ask a three worded question; " How are you?" I hope those are brave enough to answer honestly.

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