You probably think I'm crazy, and emotional. That's probably what he told you. I just want you to know that I don't hate you, and I never will. You're beautiful, and you're making him what I couldn't. Happy. His smile lights up a dark, crowded room. There's some things you know about me, which may or may not be true, but it depends on what he's spoken about me. Being with that man for 17 months, and best friends with him for more than 2 years, takes a toll on someone. You end up knowing them more than yourself. You end up caring for them more than you care for yourself. I just want you to know what I know about him, and maybe to help you in the future with him. He's very difficult to read.
1. He loves his mother more than he will EVER love you. -He is devoted to his mother. He will not leave her side, or turn his back to her. He is a respectful man, but even more when it comes to her.
2. Video games are his safe point. -You know that game that just came out? That game he already paid for? That game he works his ass off to get? Yeah, you won't stand a chance when his hands touch that controller. Prepare yourself for a good week of non-talking while that game stands.
3. He will love you until the end of time. -He may not know how to love you without breaking you. He thinks he's a monster. Some sort of creature. A beast, if I say so. He will hold you the tightest ways possible to make sure you feel safe. He'll look you into the eyes, and say, "I love you." He is a man of his word. If you love him as much as he loves you, you won't have a problem.
So now, you're probably thinking I still have those feelings for him. I get what you're thinking. "Why would his ex-girlfriend write something like this about him if she didn't like him anymore?" I never thought I could hate him, but it's the truth. I downright hate him. I just want you to know that he is an amazing guy and I gave that up. I told him good-bye in the end. But I'm happy I did. I loved him too much for him to love me back. I cared too much, to where it was dangerous. Now, to make sure, I do not hate you. I just want you to do what I couldn't do, and that's to make him happy.
I thank you. He was toxic for me, but maybe not for you.
