When we were younger, I accidentally pulled your arm out of its socket and slammed your fingers in a door twice. 90 percent, because I was four and probably had no idea what I was doing, and I think the other 10 percent was probably on purpose because you were a little shit.

You also swallowed a nickel while you and Chelsea were playing "grocery store" with me. I also recall moving into the closet for a week because I couldn't deal with you or Chelsea anymore. But since then, we have both been through so much, and I couldn't imagine having to go through them without you.

I know that we have never gotten along the greatest and we’ve had some really petty arguments, but you keep me strong right now. I love reading all the letters you sent to me while you were away. They help me relax my racer mind when I can't sleep at night.

You’re always cheering me on, telling me I did a good job, or just simply being there when I’m crying to tell me I am going to beat this. You always say "I love you" when you leave the house and wake me up at night when you've gotten home so I know you are okay.

My favorite is you always remind me to "kick ass" before I leave for physical therapy in the mornings. Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're the older sibling or if I am.

I haven't always been a great sister to you, and I haven't always had faith in you. Personally, I think I did a better job than Chelsea. I've been mean and I've purposely gotten you in trouble for no reason. but over the last year, you've proven to me how responsible you can really be.

I know life has been so hard since I got sick, and we really can’t be certain on what the outcome of my life is going to be, but I am so proud of you and the person you’ve become. There is no one that I would rather hug, argue, and cry with more than you.

Thank you for always being there for me, and for always being my biggest fan.

I love you, Ryan.