In my eyes, you are perfect. You have always been perfect. And no matter what, you will always be perfect.

I wish I had answers for you. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you why this happened to you and how to move on from it. I wish I could take away your pain and restore the confidence and belief in yourself that you had, but it’s just not that simple.

I want to hate the man who did this to you, but I don’t, because there is something broken inside him that does not understand how to love or the depth to which he has hurt you. He is self-serving, and frankly, he does not give a damn about anybody but himself. He simply isn’t deserving of any more energy or time. I know this doesn’t make seeing him in public places any easier, but I hope it does not discourage you from living your life the way you want to.

I know how you feel, because when I was 17 years old, I went through my own struggle. I was far too immature to understand what was happening, I believed I was in love with somebody who truthfully did not see me as anything more than my body, and I tried for years to justify his actions and to make myself believe that it wasn’t as ugly as it was. My relationship with my parents and friends deteriorated because I could not bring myself to tell anybody, especially when I had been warned about him. For a long time, I thought I was the issue.

So I want you to know this: you are not the problem. You are not alone, and you will get through this. It has taken years, but I have learned to love myself, and I am whole again. I am not defined by my experiences, but rather by what I have become because of them. You never fully get over it, but you will move forward.

I won’t say I’m sorry, because that’s not what you need. Of course, I wish more than anything that this wouldn’t have happened to you, but the horrible reality is one in three American women will be sexually abused in their lifetime. Between 20 to 25 percent of college women are sexually assaulted each year. These statistics exist to show how widespread the problem of sexual assault has become, but I need you to realize that you are more than a statistic.

You are intelligent, witty, sparkling, gorgeous, outgoing, hilarious, supportive, kindhearted, resilient, and a wonderful friend. You are loved, supported, respected, adored, valued, desired, and cared for. You deserve the world and so much more, and the despicable actions of one unfortunate man do not take away any of that. You are so worthy, and I know one day, you will feel that again.

Until then, I will love you enough for the both of us. I will walk through this with you, I will never let you forget how incredible you are, and I will not allow you to feel like just his victim. You are so much more than he deserved to know. To me, and so many others, you are perfect.