Not many people can say they’re proud of who they were at 14, but now that I possess the gift of retrospect, I can. I never went through a rebellious phase or made the seemingly customary slew of teenage mistakes. I was, for the most part, a fantastic kid and had a fantastic childhood to boot. That’s not to say it was idyllic, of course. Difficulty is a cornerstone of adolescence, and I certainly didn't have it all figured out at 14. I had, and still have, so much to learn, but I like to think I’ve gained some knowledge in the time between then and now. I’m a different person today, and in becoming that person, I learned a few lessons that could’ve benefitted the insecure girl I used to be. Here's what I'd want her to know.
1. It's Okay To Spend Friday Night At Home With Your Parents.
Yeah, you spend more weekends at home with Mom and Dad than people your age usually do. It’s not because you’re a loser, though. The kind of relationship you have with your parents is something to celebrate, not hide. Someday, you’ll recognize how awesome–and, sadly, rare–it actually is, and you’ll feel ridiculous for ever thinking otherwise. Treasure those nights and don’t worry about the opinions of people you won’t give a damn about in a few years.
2. That Boy Might Actually Change
Surprise! I’m not saying you were wrong to let go. But you will change so much from 14 to 19 that your soul will be almost unrecognizable. Other people are capable of undergoing similar metamorphoses. Remember this and don’t write anyone off for life based on who they were at 14. You certainly won’t want people to do that to you.
3. You'll Always Hate Rap Music, No Matter How Badly You Want To Convince Yourself Otherwise
Back to the caring about what other people think thing. Don't. So what if your peers have deemed this the "cool" genre? There is no amount of Kid Cudi soundtracks that could ever make you enjoy it, and there’s no reason that you should even try. Listen to your T Swift proudly (and if you think you love her now, just wait for 1989).
4. You Already Know Who Your True Friends Are
You are among the fortunate few who made amazing, true friends early in life. Those are the people who have stayed by your side through everything. They’re the best humans in the world, and they’re yours. Don't risk them for anything, especially not for the surface-level friendship of those girls who meet the eighth-grade standard of popularity. Never let them spend a second thinking you take them for granted. (But even though you will, they'll continue loving you fiercely, and you'll never risk losing them again.)
5. Your Mom Is Right
Except when she’s telling you that no, Harry Styles is not the most gorgeous man in the world, your mother is right. About everything. She told you you’d accomplish that goal, and that you’d regret buying that yellow and brown Aztec-print top, and that karma would catch up to that viciously mean girl you can’t stand. You’ll snap at her and ignore every word she says, and then you’ll realize that—spoiler alert!—she was spot on every time.
And now, the biggie.
6. You ARE Capable. You ARE Talented. You ARE Worthy. And You’re Going To Be Okay.
I promise. You are so much more incredible than you give yourself credit for. And one day, sooner than you think, you’ll be able to look back at who you were and be genuinely proud of yourself and all you did. Not that that means you’ll stop needing to learn or start feeling like a million bucks every day, but you’re going to accomplish some awesome things. You’re going to become many things. And you’re going to realize that you were all of those things all along.
