I have been a dancer for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I spent countless hours on stage and in dance studios, learning and growing in more ways than one. It was a huge part of my childhood that carried on to my college career. But, with being apart of a high-intensity sport comes injuries.
I learned through various sprained ankles in middle school that my ankles are pretty weak and I have low arches. That, in turn, made me more prone to injuries. I did pretty well taking care of myself in that respect; that is until I began my junior year of high school.
I nearly doubled the hours I danced beginning that year, so I was dancing a lot every single day. At the beginning of the year, I noticed my ankle was bothering me, but I just brushed it off. I'm a dancer, dancers have pains, I didn't think much of it. Turns out, I should have.
After nearly 3 months of pain, I was at the point where I could barely walk. I knew it was time to get some help. I went to the doctor and they diagnosed me with peroneal tendinitis almost immediately. I was stunned, but I shouldn't have been. What else was I expecting?
I got put in a boot for 4 weeks and obviously no dancing for 6-8. I was devastated. It put me in a huge funk and I was no fun to be around. School was stressful. This news just made everything worse.
After the first few weeks, I was able to start physical therapy 3 times a week. At first, I was extremely frustrated because I wasn't getting anywhere or showing much progress. The longer it took me to get stronger, the more dance was delayed. I was determined to keep pushing through, but I just couldn't.
Eventually, things got better, I got stronger, and after winter break, I was able to begin dancing full out again. I still wore an ankle brace and did my physical therapy stretches, but luckily I wasn't in an intense amount of pain. Plus, I was happy. I finally got to dance again after months.
But if you've ever read anything on tendinitis, then you would know it never goes away. It's always there, and you never know what might trigger the pain to start again. You could be going along doing fine for months, but then step down wrong and you could be in pain for weeks. It was scary always being in limbo like that, but there wasn't anything I could do.
Luckily for me, I'm rarely in pain. I have some days where I'll be active and on my feet a lot and that usually triggers it, but overall it's manageable. There are, however, days where it hurts to get out of bed and walk around, let alone dance or exercise.
It seems like the pain always comes back when something important is going on or I really want to work out. I could be going along just fine for months, and then on game day, I could be in so much pain. I almost always tough it out, but if it's too bad, then I sit it out for the day and rest. It is awful, but it's my life now.
This injury will always be a part of me, but it doesn't define me. Yes, I have tendinitis. Yes, the pain won't ever go away. Yes, it isn't fun. I hate it more than anything, but it has also made me a stronger person. I know my limits and if they're worth pushing. I know when to stop so I don't completely ware out my body. I know to eat well, so I'm not more susceptible. I've learned a lot, and I owe it all to this injury.
So to the injury that will never leave me, I want to say thank you. Thank you for making me stronger and teaching me a thing or two. I may not like you and you may cause me a lot of pain, but I wouldn't be who I am without you, that's for sure. But please, don't come back anytime soon.
