Looking back on our high school years, if someone would have told me that you and I would end up being as close as we are, I never would have believed them.

My 17-year-old, obsessive, petty, and invasive self would have never been involved with you: an intelligent, caring and thoughtful, good guy.

Out of all of the boys in our high school, you were the farthest one from being considered bad, which was the complete opposite of what I considered my type to be.

I searched for the love I thought I deserved. Falling in love with someone good and having someone good love me back wasn't exactly what I thought I deserved. Therefore, guys like you were never an option for me.

The past year has taught me what I deserve and what I want in life. I do want you, but I don't want what we have going on. I want more than this. I deserve more, so I'm in a bind.

I remember the first day of our first college semester all too well. That was the day an actual friendship formed between us. Little did I know, this friendship would eventually evolve into one more heartache I couldn't handle.

The roller-coaster that is our friendship consisted of us being like an on-again-off-again couple, except a couple is one thing that we never were. We were friends one day and more than friends but at the same time only friends the next day. That still describes us. I can barely keep up.

I became more attached than I planned to, but I couldn’t help it. I told you I need closure. Your response was, “I thought we were over this?” We aren’t over it.

You may be, but the dreadful truth I have tried hiding from myself for so long is that I simply am not. I don’t know how to move on and let you go. You have become such a huge part of my life that without you I don’t feel like myself. I’m not happy without you by my side.

Moving on from you isn't going to happen overnight. This wasn't just a couple month-long fling for me. It meant more than that. I guess everything that comes along with moving on has to come naturally.

You said that I don't love you, that it isn't possible because of the mistakes I've made. That was the most hypocritical and contradicting thing you could ever say to me.

My actions do not define who I am or how I feel. Nobody is perfect. As far as mistakes go, you have made some as well; one of them being similar to mine. Even though it was one mistake, it still HURT, but because it wasn't me doing something, your mistake didn't matter to you. It was fine and I was expected to just brush it off, but I couldn't.

I believed in you, and all the things that you said you were, and you lied to me. I questioned what your true intentions with me were. I questioned who you really were, whether or not I could trust you, whether or not you were actually interested in m— and so many more unimaginable things my brain decided upon overthinking.

In the end, regardless of how you not wanting to let go of your ex made me feel, I stuck around, because it wasn't worth losing you over.

Do your mistakes mean that you didn't actually care about me, even as a friend? If not, then why do you have the right to judge me and tell me how you think I feel?

You underestimated my feelings. I have never been more certain of anything in my entire life. I do love you. I know I do, whether or not you care or believe me. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't still be hanging around. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't act the way that I do towards you and about us.

You make me happy. It's a happiness that nobody else has been able to give me. The joy I endure while being around you is unreal. I could be having the worst day possible, but when I get around you, everything is suddenly better.

All of my worries go away when you're near. Your presence gives me a calm, warming, and paceful feeling. You have changed the way that I think, from bad to good. You always keep a positive attitude, even when times are hard. It's rare to hear you say something negative in a serious tone. Your words make me think positive.

Because of you, I have realized that everyone should always be thankful for what they have instead of being stressed and angry about the things that go wrong.

There are always others in the world whose lives are harder than ours. Instead of worrying about what is going wrong in our lives, we should pray.

You have given 'caring about someone' a totally different meaning. Aside from my daughter, of course, I have never felt so scared when it comes to a person— scared of losing you, scared of something happening to you, scared of hurting you or making you mad.

Worrying about you is something that I do daily. When you're driving to work, on your way to school, or whatever the case may be, I'm worried about you until I know that you're okay at the end of the day.

You're constantly on my mind and I can't help it. I think about you all day, every day, even during times that I shouldn't.

You have great integrity, gratitude, morals, goals, and character. You're courageous, respectful, honest, faithful, humorous, humble, adaptable, kind, hard-working, and mature. You are everything a girl could ever want or need, flaws and all.

I don't know how and I don't know when, but I do know that I'll have to let you go eventually. For now, I'm just struggling.