To The Girl Who Hates Her Own Reflection

To The Girl Who Hates Her Own Reflection, If Only I Could Make You See

No, you do not look like other girls. You are not supposed to.

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Not good enough.

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

Not.

Good.

Enough.

You look in the mirror and hate the person staring back at you. You hate that she does not look like the other girls. You hate that she is not "perfect."

Well...

I see you. I hear you. I understand you.

I see the faces you make whenever you look into the mirror.

I hear the sighs you make every time you take a glance at yourself.

I understand what you are feeling.

...

However, your feelings of resentment and disappointment are misplaced. These feelings should not be on your body, but rather, on anyone who ever made you feel as if your body was not good enough.

You should be disappointed in whoever made you feel as if cellulite and muscle mass should not be visible on your legs; the same legs that allow you to swim in the ocean or hike up a mountain.

You should be disappointed in whoever made you feel as if you need make-up on your face daily to cover up your freckles; the freckles that dot your face like the stars in the night sky.

You should be disappointed in whoever made you feel as if your teeth should be as white as pearls; the teeth that allow you to express the greatest sense of happiness through a smile.

You should be disappointed in whoever made you feel as if your stomach should not have stretch marks; the stretch marks that developed from the widening of your hips.

...

Think back to a time before you hated your reflection. Think about the days when you would carelessly run through the sprinklers in your swimsuit with a smile pasted on your face. Think about how afterward you would eat a melting ice-pop as bits of its blue dye dribbled down your face and onto your swimsuit.

Think about it.

Would you tell that girl any of the things you tell yourself? Would you tell that girl to suck in her stomach or to tone her legs or to not step outside without a fresh coat of mascara and foundation? Would you tell her that her cellulite and freckles and stretch marks need not be seen by anyone?

Well, you are that little girl. You are someone's daughter. You are someone's friend. You are someone's lover. You are, or may one day be, someone's mother. You would never tell one of these people that they are not good enough, so why would you tell that to yourself?

...

I am sorry that your beauty and worth is not apparent to your right now, but I promise that one day, it will be. For now, just embrace your imperfections because they are who make you uniquely beautiful. Once a day, try staring at yourself in the mirror, right in the eye, and giving yourself four compliments. Learn to love your reflection.

...

You are good enough.

You are good enough.

You are good enough.

You.

Are.

Good.

Enough.

Cover Image Credit:

Amanda Topolski

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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Sorry Guys, Girls Actually Want Attention From Other Girls

Who else knows fashion, beauty, style, or looks better than other females themselves?

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Men are ya know, "great." We love 'em (somedays). Some girls cry over men, run their lives around men, and make life choices because of men.

But, why should we try to impress men? Men don't understand the time it takes to "beat our face" with makeup. Men don't understand the soreness our arms experienced to get these perfect curls. Some men don't understand how excited we are to score big in the Urban Outfitters clearance section.

Some ladies live by "beauty is pain." But sorry guys, they are not here to impress you.

Why would some ladies spend all the time, effort, and money for men, when some men can't distinguish mascara from lipgloss.

Women are trying to impress other women.

You ever get a compliment from a fellow female and they're like, "Girl, yes girl. The outfit, the hair, YES." Ladies understand and appreciate our efforts.

Do you think what ladies post on social media is to get men pouring in their DMs? No.

We are sharing pictures to inspire and create a group of women to be creative and stylish themselves. Us ladies are trying to build an empire of strong women, and we will not spend time just to look good for men.

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