I've gone back and forth pondering whether or not I should even write this. I pondered this because I figured I was better off now and there was no reason to make it seem like you were even of importance to me anymore. However, I figured that it could do no harm in doing so... except maybe to you.

I loved you. At least, I thought I did. Maybe in some sort of world or aspect I did and that's why I let you treat me like the dog poop on the bottom of your shoe. You treated me like scum and I was too blinded by whatever feeling I had and I let it go on for years. But I'm better than that now.

It took me awhile to figure out why you did what you did. It took me awhile to even understand that what you did wasn't okay. However, once I did, I couldn't believe that you did it and that I accepted it.

For two years, I was your rag doll, your puppy dog. I followed you blindly. I allowed you to make fun of me and took it as you just "joking," even when your "jokes" did more harm than good. I made excuses for you moodiness, for your indecisiveness, and for your mistreatment. I stuck around even when you toyed with my emotions by leaving me and coming back into my life so many times.

I was shattered. I was a shell of the woman I was before I met you. I was completely destroyed.

It took me a year to get over you after I made the decision that I was worth more than what I got from you. It took me so long to pick up every piece of me and try to put it back together and still, I lost some pieces. It took me a lot of bad decisions and possibly worse guys than you. It took me screwing around and hurting myself over and over and over again, but I eventually became okay.

It wasn't just a one day action, it was months worth of work. Then suddenly, one day, I woke up and you were no longer a fraction of the space that took up my mind. You were no longer the being my life revolved around. You no longer controlled me, my actions, nor my future. I was seemingly cured from the poison that plagued my life, you.

However, I am better now. I crawled out of the trenches I was in with you and I found the light. I found myself. I found yoga. I found inner peace. I found someone who would never treat me in such a manner.

You may have become the metaphor I use, "worse than the boy who broke my heart in high school." You may have hurt me in a way I have never been hurt to this day. You may have been the worst thing to ever happen to me, but you taught me very important lessons.

You taught me to stop letting people hurt me. You taught me to stop letting people treat me like the dog poop at the bottom of their show. You taught me to stop being someone's rag doll or puppy dog. You taught me to stop settling for less than I deserve. You taught me to stop making excuses for mistreatment, indecisiveness, jokes, and moodiness. You taught me that I am more.

If it wasn't for you, I may not be the force to be reckoned with that I am today. If it wasn't for you, I may not be as strong as I am today. But I am and I will never be as weak and feeble minded as I was when I was with you.

So, that I can thank you for.

You may be still where I last knew you were at, you could still have that mustang that hardly worked, you could still be at a loss of a career, but I don't know and I don't really care. I'm better now and I have someone who cares for me and that's more than I ever had with you.