Thank you for showing me what I really want.

To The High School Boyfriend Who Cheated On Me Multiple Times, Here's A Bunch Of Thank Yous

You did more for me thank you'll ever know.

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My high school boyfriend cheated on me a lot.

Like a lot.

From years 16 to 19, I woke up nauseous most mornings and avoided even talking about my boyfriend out of fear that someone would bring up this weekend's cheating rumor. No matter how many times my heart felt that sinking feeling when someone said those words, "I heard something you need to know", it never felt any less painful.

Do you know the feeling?

The older I get the more I realize this part of my story isn't uncommon. Another commonality I share with those women is the strength we gained from the struggle those boys put us through. Truthfully, I don't have an ounce of hatred in my heart towards the boy who cheated on me anymore. I'm engaged to the kindest, most thoughtful and intentional man now.

Because of the dirt my high school boyfriend dragged me through for a few years, I am even more grateful for the incredible man I will spend the rest of my life with. The lessons I learned after moving on from that relationship have shaped me into the woman I am today. And guess what, I think that woman rocks. So ladies, if your time was so rudely wasted by a boy who wasn't man enough to respect you, take your time back from him by fighting hate with gratitude. Here's why I'm grateful:

Thank you for helping me learn the beauty of self-love.

Do you remember that first "aha moment" when you sobered up from the beer goggles of your love for that boy. That first time you realized, "wait a second, I am amazing and I deserve someone who treats me that way". That's one of the best feelings in the world. Even better, is the feeling of knowing you can be that person who loves you. Being with someone who repeatedly forgets your worth is painful. But once you move on from the relationship, you can really develop an incredible amount of love for yourself, and this love is not contingent on the opinions of others.

Thank you for helping me learn what I deserve in a man.

To be frank, there's a reason you felt worthless when you were with him. He didn't treat you right. Let those feelings aid you as you enter your next relationship. I always loved the saying, "Thank God for who you're not dating". When I was single after breaking up with my ex, I gained great comfort and security knowing I'd much rather be single than be with someone who made me feel insecure and unworthy. My fiance is the total opposite of my ex in every category, and I'd like to say, it's working out great for me. I learned everything I did not want in a relationship and ran in the other direction. Over there, I found my forever.

Thank you for helping me inspire others.

I struggled to tell the whole story of my past relationship for a long time. I held back for many reasons. What if people didn't believe me? Will people think I'm being mean about him? I didn't want to sit around and bash my ex, but the truth is, all of the pain he put me through led me to incredible strength that I could have never had without the struggle. So I stopped holding back. I talked about what happened openly and freely. And guess what. Girls started sharing their stories with me. Our experiences were so similar. We needed one another to have the courage to open up. Someone needs to hear your story. Someone needs to draw from your strength.

Don't let fear keep you from inspiring others.

So this is my encouragement to you. You can't turn back time, but your pain doesn't have to be wasted. In my high school relationship, I loved as fiercely as a teenager could. I'm grateful to have learned how to love like this because now I am loved fiercely, too. I finally can love fearlessly and I feel all the loved I always craved.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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