Time and time again I lose myself in my thoughts, forgetting about all of the good in life. Time and time again, I feel alone, lacking love. But then, time and time again I remember who I am, who I have and who has me.
When I am lost, the only person who seems to find me is my forever friend; the one who I want to spend the rest of my sunsets with, the one who finds me in the darkest parts of my mind that I am not even aware I have.
She knows exactly who she is. This is my open letter to her, not one of anger or despair but one explaining why I am so thankful for her and everything she has done for me.
I lived 6 years without her at one point, and then at one point 8 years. Both of which I don't understand how I did because now we can barely spend a month apart. I have faced obstacles that I didn't believe I would be able to face alone, but I persevered and got through them with the help of this magnificent soul.
Right now as I am writing this, we are face timing, laughing about her boy problems and my lack of boy problems. From the beginning we have laughed nonstop, not the half-assed laughs you do when something isn't that funny. These laughs are laughs that are felt in the depths of my bones and radiate to every part of my soul, the types of laughs only felt when the true sincerity of happiness is amidst us.
Our parents are best friends and have been since they were little. Their friendship is basically the foundation of ours if you think about it. If neither of our families had a lake house on Wilson then we never would have met and all of our memories would be created with other people. The thought of never meeting you is one I am glad I will never have to experience because I can only imagine how horrible and empty my life would be.
These memories are the memories we will tell our children, and our children's children and hopefully another generation afterwards, but if not then those memories will always live in our brains never to be forgotten. I have never felt so secure around somebody before, so peaceful, so serene. It's almost like all of the bad things in the world don't exist when I’m with her, like all is good and everyone is safe from harm or greed or destruction. When I’m with her it's like time stands still and we are exactly who we are; two teenagers able to conquer anything and everything with no obstacles as long as they have each other.
I wish nothing but the best for her. I wish her career as a dancer excels and she is working in her own studio, teaching young dancers to find their soul purely within a movement of their body. I wish her peace and gratitude, hope and love, success and triumph. All of which she deserves and has worked her ass of for.
I don't think I have ever seen her commit one selfish act in the many years we have been friends. She is always thinking of others and being a good-doer, hoping only to show them love and appreciation.
Her beauty is unmatched; the way her deep brown eyes compliment her olive skin is so beautiful. The way her dirty blonde hair flows down her perfectly sculpted cheekbones, passed her shoulders to the middle of her back in all of its glory is truly a wonder of its own. Not to mention her physique, outstanding. Her dancer's body is like none other, her curves so subtle yet so prominent all coming together to form one beauteous figure, all of which I get to call my bestfriend.
She is the one I want to buy an apartment with in our twenties and live off of cheap wine and ramen until we are able to figure out a plan for our futures. We have a plan of being those best friends that take on New York as if we were born there. She would be dancing for a prestigious dance school and I would be a journalist for The Times or for The New York Post, only to come home to our forever friend and our pet, hopefully a dog and if not then a bunny because were both allergic to cats.
We have so many hopes and dreams for each other. I wish her nothing but the best and I wish to be there when she succeeds, and her to be there when I succeed.
I love you forever Breezy.
