Whether or not my brother and sister realize this, I have always felt very protective of them. This was first noticeable for me when my siblings and I were all in elementary school, and our parents separated. At the time, I felt that I had to be strong for them because I was their older sister. I felt it was my responsibility to not let anyone hurt them, even though that was not always something I could control.
I do not know if other older siblings feel this, but sometimes I feel as if I end up acting like another parent towards my siblings. The oldest siblings are always the ones to experience many things first. I was the first to start high school, the first to drive, the first to go to college, and so on. Along with all these new experiences came many mistakes. As everyone knows, mistakes are simply a part of growing up. Anyways, what ends up happening is I try to give my brother and sister advice on what to or not to do, based on the experiences I already have had. Since I feel protective of them, I want to try to prevent them from making the mistakes I have made, and to prevent them from experiencing some of the things I have experienced. The problem is that giving them advice can resemble the lecture of a parent, and they really do not need me to be an additional parent to them. So, even though I want to stop them from making mistakes, I have to let them make their own decisions. It can be hard to accept that my brother and sister will also make mistakes because they have to grow up too. It is hard to not still picture them as being little.
As I already said, we oldest siblings experience many things first. Some of my friends, who are younger than me, get jealous of when there are things they still cannot do, but that I can, because of our ages. But in my opinion, experiencing many things first is not always that great. Sometimes I hate having to go through certain experiences first. Take college for instance. I did not have someone to look to for guidance. Sure I was able to talk to my parents and other adults, but they are not the same as having an older sibling. Growing up, I never had an older sibling to go to for advice. At certain points in my life, having an older sibling would have been very beneficial.
Being the oldest sibling comes with a lot of pressure. The main pressure is to be a good role model to my younger siblings. I have always felt that I needed to get good grades, and to not make decisions that will wrongly influence my brother and sister. But I put all this pressure on myself. It is not somebody else putting pressure on me. Once I realized this, I learned that being a perfect older sibling does not actually make you a good role model. Nobody is perfect. We all have to make mistakes, and my siblings will be able to learn from some of mine.
I do not think that being the oldest sibling is as great as people think it is. Despite this, being an older sibling is not always bad. Besides, I think being the middle child or the youngest child would have its downsides too.
