If you've lost a parent, then this one is for you.
Losing a parent is never easy. Losing anyone is never easy, but in my experience, the loss of a parent is by far one of the worst losses.
Regardless of what age you are, there's always going to be that missing part of your life where your mom or dad should be. You'll see your friends laughing with their dad and be jealous because you'll never have that. You'll hear your friends talking about what an amazing relationship they have with their mom and be jealous because you'll never have the chance to have that relationship with your mom.
When you first find out that you've lost a parent, everything sort of just stops. You don't really understand what's happening; it's all just a blur. It's as if nothing is real because this isn't how it's supposed to be. You realize you've just lost someone who is supposed to guide you through life and be there for you.
The hardest part of losing a parent, I think, is going through their stuff to figure out what to do with it all. In the beginning, you don't want to get rid of anything because that means they're actually gone and never coming back. Then there's that one day where you think you can handle going through it all, but when you actually sit down and try to start, you find something that triggers a memory and you just end up crying for a while. There's nothing wrong with that; it's part of grieving.
People grieve in different ways and at their own pace. Sometimes people cry, but sometimes people just don't react at all. When you lose a parent, or anyone, you have free reign to act how you want for a little bit. When I lost my mom, I think I went from "shock" straight to "depression and detachment," according to the six stages of grief (and just to be clear, people go through the stages of grief differently and at their own pace.) I basically shut down and people let that happen for a little bit, but it came to the point where even I said I needed to get back to where I was because I couldn't feel like this forever.
One of the most annoying things people say after you lose a parent is, "I'm so sorry, I understand what you're going through." Do you though? Unless you've lost a parent, you don't really understand what it's like. It's one of those things where, as the person grieving, you know they're just trying to help, but you're feeling so many different things that you don't care or want their "understanding."
At the end of the day, losing a parent is something no one should have to go through, but unfortunately death happens and there's not much we can do about it. The biggest thing I learned from losing my mom is that it's okay to grieve however you want and how long you feel necessary. However, there comes a point where you need to accept what happened and move on. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting; it means making your parent proud and making yourself proud for getting through such a hard time.
