To All The Friends I've Loved Before

Friendship is a special kind of love. It can hit you like a truck, coming out of nowhere. Someone walks into your life, and you feel this deep connection as if they were always supposed to be there.

Good friends call you out on your bullshit. They support you in your triumphs. Your hardships are their hardships. Good friends see past the show you put on for the rest of the world. They accept you, not despite all of your flaws, but with them.

Not all friends are put into your life to stay there forever. Life happens. People change. And suddenly, the bullshit becomes dominant. Support turns to jealousy. You're made to feel burdensome.

And that's when it's time to remember what you deserve. You deserve to be put first. You deserve loyalty. You deserve to be given back what you put in.

But when that doesn't happen, it's time to let go.

So, to all the friends I've loved before:

I am grateful that I had you in my life. You taught me new things about myself. You led me to the path I am now on, the continuous journey to find myself and my passions in life.

You were there for a reason. You made me laugh. You made me cry. You came to my side when I needed you most.

But things change.

People grow up and apart. We are shaped by our life experiences, and somewhere along the road, our paths diverted too much. We were lost in the woods, and no matter how hard I tried to find you, it felt like you kept running in the opposite direction.

I don't hold it against you, for not reciprocating what I gave you. We weren't meant to be forever. But that doesn't mean I don't think back to when the sun was shining on us and we were happy.

I would not be who I am today without you. But that does not make me regret letting you go. We are put into people's lives so we can better navigate what comes our way together. I though, was navigating alone.

I needed to make space for more positive energy. I needed to move forward. You were sucking me dry. And so I decided to let go.

I wish you the best in wherever life has taken you. I only know you now through a phone screen, from pictures posted on Instagram to stories documenting your weekends.

I don't know if you are happy. But I know you have moved on. Every once in a while, I feel the pain of that. But then I remember this was the choice I made.

We were once best when we were together.

Things change.

We are better now that we are apart.

I loved you. I know we helped guide each other to this place.

I chose to let you go. I don't regret it. But don't mistake that for disrespect. I see the choices you have made, and I honor them. You are living your life and I am living mine.

We are happy. Separately.

To all the friends I've loved before, I wish you well.