Dear Indian Aunties,
I'll admit it. We have all probably admitted it at some point in our lives: "I'm not perfect." That realization may feel disappointing at first, but it makes us human to know that we all struggle with some internal flaws. If I had a dime for every time I had a disapproving Indian auntie either gossip behind my back and tell her friends or, hell, tell my parents that I was doing my life wrong, I would be rich by now.
My favorite thing I'm doing wrong is not living up to my parents' dreams and expectations. Since I come from a family bred with two doctor parents, apparently it is my duty and right to walk in their footsteps and become a doctor as well. There is so much pressure for a lot of Indian children to live up to these expectations of becoming a certain profession like a doctor or engineer. They grow up being taught that these are the only paths one is allowed to take. It's not until high school or college that parents either let loose on this grip or the kids just find out that they can actually make these decisions on their own. For me, you don't care about whether or not I want to be a doctor or why I would consider the pros and cons of going into medical school. It's more so that this is what I am supposed to do. I have to do this. I have to make a whole generation of people that don't exist in this life anymore proud of the life that I live now.
That extends beyond just the pressures of medical school. The decisions I make in my love life, where I live, who I associate with, where I go to spend my free time all reflect off a 50-sided mirror back onto all my relatives in my family line that stretches across the globe. Every move I make matters because it is for the betterment of the family and not for myself.
Of course, I may want to go to medical school. I love science. It's an option I've considered long before I could understand the pressures my parents and the whole extended Indian community put on me. Of course it's not my only option, but I'm still so young. I can't commit fully to something I'm not sure I completely want right now. I may want it in the near future, and I may end up becoming a doctor, but those reasons will have to be for me and only me.
I'll admit though, some of you guys are becoming progressive. You're understanding that not every Indian child is destined to be one of two professions that were hand-picked years and years ago. You understand that some of us find our identities in different ways and turn out to be awesome, nurturing, fun human beings on this planet regardless of what degree we hold. And that's pretty cool. I'll look forward to seeing more of you around.
Sincerely,
An ABCD
(American-Born Confused Desi)
