Spending this past year with my dorm mates has opened my eyes to the power of a good birthday surprise. To the "surprisee," a surprise can mean an unparalleled sense of inclusion, acceptance and love. After being on both sides of the celebration multiple times, whether with family or friends, I can safely say that even people who don’t like surprises can sometimes enjoy a really good one. It just has to be done right.

But that’s the problem. Birthday surprises are hard to do right. They involve anxiety over coordinating people, keeping secrets, and ensuring enough personalization. So here are some tips and ideas for knocking out these problems and giving the best surprise you can give to your family member, friend, or spouse.

1. Work everything out way ahead of time.

Procrastination is your worst enemy. Waiting until the last day to plan will make everything sloppy. You’ll end up having to scrape things together, frantically text everyone, and rush to the store to buy everything you need.

So, avoid that. I would say two weeks is a good amount of time to prepare for a small surprise. If any more than 20 people are involved, plan at least a month ahead of time.

2. Involve your surprisee’s favorite food.

Food is always key. People bond over food. Also, there’s no point in surprising a person with just a cake and candles if that person doesn’t even like cake. If your friend really likes Entenmann’s cookies, just go pick up a box from the gas station. Don’t waste your time buying expensive macarons for no reason.

3. Give a cute gift with handwritten notes.

Handwritten notes are always a good idea. My favorite method that I’ve used so far is to have everyone write a thoughtful, appreciative note on a Post-It note. Then, you collect all the little notes and place them onto a collage. For a friend of mine, I bought a small wooden board from a nearby art store, printed out a bunch of pictures of things that I knew my friend liked, then made a collage of those pictures and the Post-It notes. Get creative with it!

4. Eliminate suspicion.

People usually know that their 50th birthday is going to call for a surprise party, so if you don’t tell them about any plans, they will get suspicious. To fix this, just tell that person there will be a small get-together some time later on, then give the real surprise. Be careful with this one. You don’t want to make the person think you are going on a big birthday vacation, then surprise them with a party that pales in comparison. The surprise needs to be better than the plans you tell them about. Even better, just follow through with those little plans as well. The point of this is to let the person think that you are not going to make a big deal out of his or her birthday, then give them the surprise of the century.

5. If you don’t know who to invite, find someone who does.

It’s important that all of the key people are invited. However, surprises become much more difficult when there are too many people planning them. Pick the right person to help you with the invites. Look for someone who is willing to focus on searching around for people.

6. Consider making the surprise small and intimate.

This one is more of an alternative solution to your typical surprise plans. Some people feel the most loved when quality time is spent one-on-one or in a small group. If you know your special person feels best in these situations, set out a block of time that is meant to celebrate him/her. Go out for a surprise dinner or a trip to a favorite getaway. Sometimes, a night of movies and snacks is the best option.

7. Learn from the people who do it best.

Chances are you know someone who can organize a great surprise, and people like that are usually willing to help out with one.

It’s important to note that all of this requires understanding the person you are celebrating. Personalization will make everything run smoothly. It offers a good direction for the surprise.

My family pulled off an amazing surprise for my birthday two years ago, and it was amazing because it was meant for me in every way. They had a few of my friends work together to get me out of the house for the afternoon, which was great in itself. When we got back to my house that evening, the rest of my friends were waiting in my basement, where two TVs were hooked up to play "Super Smash Bros. Brawl." We spent the night playing games, eating all of my favorite foods, and enjoying good company.

Try to make it personal, and be as creative as you like. Best of luck!