So by now you've probably heard about the recent "Heat Dome" that has been tormenting the region this past week, unless you've been living under a rock (in which case I am incredibly jealous because you've managed to avoid the swelter by remaining underground-something I have recently been considering). If you happen to live in a state affected by this fresh new Hell, then you can benefit from these helpful tips on how to get through the next few days:

Quit your job

Have a job that requires you to leave the house? Quit immediately. With temperatures reaching triple digits you can't risk any outdoor exposure. I'm sure your boss will understand-and if they don't, well, you quit so why does it matter.

If going outdoors, cover yourself in mud.

As I learned from recently seeing The Predator for the first time, mud lowers your body temperature enough to not be detected by a thermal camera. Assuming everything that happens in movies is scientifically accurate, I would 100% recommend this technique to stay cool.

Join a nudist colony.

This weather is waaaaaay too hot for clothes of any sort. Meaning just stay in the nude constantly as to not risk raising your body temperature in the slightest. An added bonus is you'll save tons of money on dry cleaning.

Bathe in ice water.

This one is really a no-brainer, except, now that I think of it, why limit yourself to just bathing in ice water? Break the hot water heater in your house to prevent any water above 50 degrees from touching your skin.

Skip bottled water, eat ice cubes instead.

The ice cubes will melt and make your inner body nice and chilly- trust me, I'm a doctor. Under this tip I'd also like to stress the importance of only eating frozen foods (same principles apply).

Move as little as possible.

Movement generates energy, and energy generates heat. AKA move as little as humanly possible. If your family starts to mistake you for a gelatinous blob or has to regularly check in to make sure you're still breathing, then you know you're doing it right.

Keep all of the lights off.

For the next couple of days, live in complete darkness. Dark places are cooler than light ones, and I don't need science to prove that, it's simply common sense. So yeah, leave all the lights off at all times to stay cool.

I hope these tips and tricks will help you stay cool as a cucumber during this week's near-apocalyptic Heat Dome!