Horse shows are extremely stressful, but I believe they're more stressful for those who don't quite know what is happening. So, here is my advice to our lovely horse show boyfriends everywhere!
1. Do not begin to tell me how upset you are to wake up at 4 a.m.
No, you did not sign up for this horse show thing, but when you asked me on a date you pretty much sealed your fate. Plus you get to sleep in the car. Or the trailer. Whichever you prefer.
2. Always have food on hand.
I have about five minutes between each class, which leaves me no time to dismount, walk to the food booth, order, wait for my food, consume it and then remount. Just have food or you will feel the wrath of my hangry-ness.
3. Always be carrying a brush.
What if I accidentally kick my horses butt while mounting? What if a horse bumps into my horse? What if my horse steps in a puddle? What if the arena is dusty? Just keep brushing and we'll look so nice and clean.
4. Always clean my boots.
You better be have a rag or something on hand to clean my boots at all times. No excuses. Dirty boots call for an unhappy girl.
5. Know my pattern.
I understand that it is my job to know the pattern, but what if I need last minute reassurance? What if I blank out? What if I'm confused? I don't care if you can't read the pattern you just need to know it. Recite it back to me, do something.
6. Do not leave my sight.
What am I supposed to do if I need something? Who will I ask for help? At a show I am basically as independent as an infant.
7. Always have horse treats on hand.
My horse needs rewarding too. Do you just expect her to known when she did a job well done? No, she needs treats and to be spoiled and loved and spoiled even more. If you run out of treats, find more. And don't just give her treats. Ask first. But spoil her too.
8. Video tape at all times.
I don't care if I didn't charge the camera last night. You need to catch everything from the minute I step into the arena from the second they dismiss me.
9. Hold the damn horse.
Just hold her. Don't let her eat grass. Don't let her crib. Don't let her socialize. Don't touch her. Don't even look at her. Just hold her. Right there. Don't move.
10. If I ask you if my horse looks good, always say yes.
I don't care if you have no idea if you have no idea what a 360 degree turn to the left on the forehand is. I'm needy and like reassurance.
11. We do, believe it or not, appreciate you.
Do not, ever, ask me at the show if I appreciate you. Of course I do, now is just not the time to socialize. But, I really would never find anyone else to carry all of my tack, feed me, stand in 100 degree humid weather, video tape, cleaning my boots and horse, stay at the barn late with me, help me clean my stalls, and still tell me I'm pretty and a great rider at the end of the day. Boyfriends that love your horse as much as they love you are the ones to keep.
Thanks for all that you do
