To my little cuz,
Here we are, at your thirteenth birthday. Thinking back, I could never really imagine this day. You've always been so little. But now, you've reached a milestone, a new time in your life. In so many ways, the next 7 years will be some of the best, and worst, years of your entire life. As you transition to your teenage years, here are 13 things I want you to always remember.
1. Hold on to your innocence.
A time will come to grow up, to learn about the world, to be on your own. That time will come all too soon, and before you even know it. So for now, just stay little. Remain in the dark. Allow secrets to be kept secret. It is really for the best that you not know everything yet. Believe in the magic while you still can.
2. Popularity is not everything.
Especially as a teen, it seems like the only thing that matters is what other's think. Something to learn: your life is not changed by the number of friends you have, but it will be changed by the few friends who truly care. Those people will love you no matter what, so don't change for anyone. I'll share with you one quote to live by: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
3. Your past does not define you.
I know, the past can hurt. But the past has helped shape you into the person you are today. Your young, beautiful, strong, and wise beyond your year's soul. But, the past is not you. You have learned, and you have changed. Leave the rest where it is: in the past.
4. "Everyone else is," is not a reason.
Make your own decisions, be your own person. If it wouldn't please you, don't do it. There will be things to do with friends, and there will be things to do for yourself. If it's something that really interests you, come up with a better reason to tell your parents that "my best friend gets to go." After all, if you can't come up with your own reason, it probably isn't that big of a deal.
5. Get involved in school.
If you remember my high school years, I was involved in literally everything. It may have been busy, but I'll be the first person to tell you: it was all worth it. Find a competitive team. Find a social club. Try your best in class. Make your presence known in the school. This is really your first time to choose your experiences, and start to make your connections. You may not believe me, but one person can make a huge difference.
6. You're not always right.
Believe me, I know better than anyone. Growing up, you think you know it all. While you may never want to admit it, it goes a long way to admit that you're wrong. Some people have just lived a little longer, had a little more life experience. Someday you'll be there too. But for now, instead of always trying to argue, just try to learn.
7. Give it a try.
It's never too late to try something new. Go to the new club. Sit by the new student. Travel to the exotic location. It'll be worth it. And even if it doesn't turn out as you'd hope, at least you can say you tried.
8. Sometimes, you need a good cry.
I know you feel like to need to stay strong and be a rock. But sometimes, you really just need to let it out. Whether it be late at night, under your covers alone in your room, or on the phone with me, or to your best friend, it can really make it so much better. Things are going to just straight up suck sometimes, and unfortunately, that's just part of life. It's okay to be upset. It's okay to cry.
9. Lend a hand.
Be someone that others can come to for help. Volunteer your time. Be the difference in someone's life. You never know how little of an action can change a whole life. Sometimes all it takes is an invitation to hang out, or even a smile in the hall. An hour at the local shelter or a few minutes with a sad friend. These moments can make all the difference.
10. Be your own advocate.
There are people who can help you along the way, but only you know what's really best for you. You are the one who knows what you need, and how to get it. Be honest with others, and be honest with yourself. Learn to ask for yourself, and stand up for yourself. At a certain point, you have to take accountability for your own actions and be your own person. Now is that time.
11. Imperfection is beauty.
It took me years to realize, and sometimes I still haven't mastered this one. But nothing will ever be perfect. The high school dance you imagined, your new haircut, your first date, your first kiss. It won't be perfect, and that's what makes it beautiful. It's the experience, it's the memory.
12. Make every second count.
You only get seven years of being a teen, only four years of high school, and two years of middle school. So make them count. Don't live with any regrets. When someone invites you out, say "yes." Go on the spring break trip. Stay up late. Spend every moment you can with your best friends and the family who loves you.
13. I'll always be here for you.
No matter how old you get, no matter how far away I am, I will always be here for you. For advice, for a cry, for a hug. Just know, you can always wake me up, you can always interrupt me. I love you to the moon and back 1000 times over, and you mean the world to me.
I am so beyond proud of the young woman you are becoming. You are so strong, so wise, such an amazing role model. You are mature beyond your years and so accomplished. There may be times when we disagree, there may be times when we are far apart.
But cousins are connected heart to heart, distance and time cannot keep them apart. I am so proud to call you my cousin, and I am so happy I can be here with you now more than ever before. No matter how big you get, you'll always be my little cuz.
With more love than could ever be expressed,
Your older, but only slightly wiser, Cuz
