Almost everyone has heard of at least one dating app. Whether it be Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Hinge, or what have you, most people with smartphones in their teens and twenties are familiar with them. That being said, most college students that I've encountered during my time here at my university are not only familiar with these apps, but also use them on a regular basis. I have been in a relationship since high school and have never used a dating app myself, so I became quite intrigued by the concept of it all when hearing about other people's experiences with apps like Tinder.
However, I began to notice a trend within every conversation I had with people talking about their experiences.
Although Tinder, Grindr, and Bumble may be labeled as dating apps, I personally know of no one in my life that has found anything more than a hookup from these sites.
What I found is that Tinder is basically normalizing hookup culture. Now, I am not at all one to sex-shame — to each his own, by all means. However, it seems as if this generation has become suddenly so hooked (no pun intended) on the idea of hookups that now legitimate relationships are almost rare.
Although this might not seem like an issue at all, since I'm assuming hookups are fun and carefree most of the time, I have witnessed friends' frustration with this whole phenomenon.
Many of my friends have tried using these apps, genuinely looking for someone to go out with, and in return, all they get are people wanting nothing more than a one night stand. Not only this, but my friends are looked at as if they are crazy, clingy, needy, etc. by simply asking what the other person's intentions are. This leads me to believe that dating apps are desensitizing people! As if masculinity wasn't such an ominous social construct already, these apps are stripping men of their feelings even more. If a male college student goes to Tinder to look for genuine love, he's seen as having "weak game." Who even catches true feelings anymore?
Believe it or not, I've experienced boys being called "soft" for wanting to be in an actual relationship, instead of just hooking up with girl after girl.
This leads into another source of frustration my friends have faced — using these apps holds the risk of having a very one-sided "relationship." And by relationship, I just mean any type of half-consistent communication between two people.
One of my friends has just recently fallen into the Tinder trap. She met up with a boy on a few occasions and ended up getting feelings for him that were entirely unreciprocated. Not only that, but like I mentioned before, when she asked the boy how he felt about their current situation, he completely cut all ties and vanished just like that. People think it is now the moral norm to ghost others rather than to express how one truly feels.
Whether or not the creators of Tinder and Bumble knew how drastically they were about to change the dating game, they sure did one hell of a job.
Moral of the story: even though apps like these have normalized hookup culture, it still is perfectly okay to commit to one person! Then again, like I said before, to each his own. Just stay safe, and do what makes YOU happy!
