Finding the perfect little isn’t easy. It takes a lot of coffee dates, girl flirting, and quality time to figure out she’s the one for you. You and your big are so close, you can’t wait to have a child of your own to spoil and to form your own, special relationship. Whether it’s boy advice, taking care of her when she’s sick, or dragging her out to a party, you’re prepared to be a totally awesome big to your new mini-me.

Little hunting goes something like this:

1. Stalking the new members on bid day.

From the moment the new members excitedly burst through the doors with their bid cards, the entire chapter is secretly sleuthing for their perfect match.

2. Everyone becomes a matchmaker.

“OMG, You have to talk to Shelby! You guys both have a vacation house in Palm Beach, love Grey’s Anatomy, and have the same major! Plus, you two kind of freakishly look alike.”

3. Exchanging numbers.

You’ve been talking to a new member for more than a half hour now and you’re really hitting things off. The conversation comes naturally and you both have so much in common. If you want to take things to the next level, you know you have to get the digits. Are you sure she likes you back? What if she wasn’t feeling it? No. Rejection is not an option. You got this.

4. Flirtatious texting.

Now that you’ve got her number, it’s time to feel her out. So you start off small; you use a few emojis, but not too many. A couple of endearing nicknames here and there can’t hurt, right? Be careful not to overdo it; you still gotta play it cool.

5. Going on girl dates.

You pick up your potential little at 7 o’clock and head to her favorite froyo place. Before she can whip out her wallet to pay, you slap your credit card down on the counter. You sit down and start to talk, and before you know it, you’re the last people there and the employees are closing up shop. You didn’t even realize how late it was getting! You drive her back to her dorm and tell her you’d love to do this again sometime. You decide to go in for the hug, and she’s totally receptive. Your first date was definitely a success.

6. You become Snapchat official.

As soon as you get home, you notice your potential little added you on snap. Within a few hours, she manages to climb her way to the top of your best friends list. You spend the next week snapping each other everything you’re doing nonstop.

7. Second and third dates.

The following week, you two can’t get enough of each other. You have your second date at the local coffee shop talking for hours, and your third date studying at the library and making each other laugh. You could say things are getting pretty serious.

8. You’re sure she’s the one.

You have no doubt in your mind that she’s the one. You find yourself daydreaming about the crafts you’ll make her and what color letters to buy her. You’re just hoping she feels the same.

9. Things get competitive.

At this point everyone knows she’s your little, and you’re prepared to fight anyone who thinks otherwise.

10. Dropping hints.

It becomes harder and harder not to call her your little. You use every possible synonym to avoid using the -L- word when you talk over text. Every “cutie” and “tiny” and “child” is just you dying to call her yours.

She’s yours!

On Friday night, your phone rings. The pledge mom is on the other end, and you nervously await the outcome. You were first on her list! She’s yours! You hang up, squealing and completely overjoyed. You can’t wait to spend the next week showering her in gifts and the next three years by her side. This is the best day ever!

When she finally discovers that you’re her big and she jumps into your arms, it is the greatest feeling in the entire world. This night marks the saga of your crazy Big/Little antics and adventures to come, and you couldn’t be happier to call her yours.