Every day, it's just a new game. Here we are constantly feeling the same damn pain. Day in and day out it'll never be the same.

I stand here watching and wondering when — when I'll be able to feel again. I let my heart hold this feeling, this feeling of pain. With these words, I try to express, every damn thing without sounding so damn depressed. I miss you so and the days drawn near, the days that will mark this down to our first year. My first year with out you what a ride it's been. My first year with out you oh how I can't wait to see you again. I miss you so much, it's pretty clear. I'm just tired of living this life in fear; fear of failing oh my dear. I just want to live, I've made that pretty clear. I know some days will be harder than others. There's too much truth in that. I just don't want fear stabbing me in my back. I have people who support me through everything I do, but they'll never mean as much to me as you. I spend the mornings thinking of you and all the days I just slept until noon, all the time I wasted drives me insane but oh what would life be if I wasn't still in the game. Everything happens for a reason I see that to be true. I just wish it wouldn't have costed me you. Life will move forward, but I'll never forget. I won't spend my time living in regret.

I miss you, mom. You're heavy in my heart. I feel your soul near. I still literally can't believe it's almost been a year.