Are you my guardian, my blood relative or any other significant adult in my life? No? Then you have no right to insert your narrow opinion into my lifestyle choices. Especially when it comes to the shaming that I so frequently experience from adults who believe that they could do a better job of raising me than either of my parents have done. It was world shattering when I returned from college to find that some parents not only stared at me disapprovingly, but they also voiced their opinions, regularly, about my drinking habits, wardrobe, choices on dating and religion.
I have had friends tell me that their parents learned that I drank alcohol (Gasp!) and concluded that I was a poor influence on their own children. I'm hesitant to believe that every single child is negatively affected by my drinking a beer on a Saturday night. However, it doesn't end there. These so-called adults, who should apparently be mature, take it upon themselves to invite me to a dinner where they refuse to address me directly. Instead, they spend the evening making not-so-subtle comments about the poor discipline that I clearly received as a child.
They spend time speaking about how college freshmen who drink should be disappointed in themselves for making poor decisions.
They talk about how alcohol is poisonous and makes one's life an uphill battle.
I will always say that, as a 19-year-old woman, I have the right to clothe my body in whatever manner I choose. Did seeing my stomach peeking out between my shirt and my pants suddenly activate dire cancer in your body? Did my thighs give you a surprise heart attack? No. That would be absurd. Just as absurd as commenting on the clothing that I'm wearing.
I feel as if my last two categories go hand in hand: my dating life and my religion. For some reason, it is every parent's job to make sure that each 20-year-old woman in my town is dating somebody that they could possibly marry in three years. The men can frolic through the fields of women as they choose but, if a woman is not dating somebody, there's no telling what she could be doing at college. Oh. Wait. How is that affecting you? That I'm not being the perfect Christian girl in college? To add to that, I have never desired to be that girl who moves back to town, buys a house and has three children. There's nothing wrong with that dream, except for the fact that it's not mine and each opinionated parent should finally accept that.
I have no problem with respecting the rules of another household. As an atheist, I will bow my head out of respect during a prayer. I will not drink at dinner or mention drunken nights. I will not bring up my own dating choices or decisions associated with them. However, I draw the line when a parent attempts to shame me or one of my friends. You're free to talk to your own child in a productive manner, but I will stand up for myself, my decisions and my friends' decisions if you decide that I or they should feel poorly about themselves.
Every human being should have the confidence to express themselves in whatever manner they choose without suffering from harsh judgment.
