"I am pretty fearless, and you know why? Because I don't handle fear very well; I'm not a good terrified person,"
- Stevie Nicks.
There's a moment in everyone's life where they have to face the choice of dauntless or daunted. It depends on the circumstances, but most of the time you see people hide when they are afraid. Fear is powerful, and it consumes the whole of you when you allow it; this is why you shouldn't be fearful. The way that I look at it is this: be fearful or be free.
Going into high school I was terrified. I can't even put into words how scared I was or what I was feeling. I didn't think I would make friends, or fit in, or even get by. Then I went to my seventh period theater arts class and everything changed. From that first day of school and on I had felt like I had somewhere that I belonged. I wasn't so afraid anymore. Over the years I've become very comfortable with my friends, and my new family away from home. They've been a stronghold for me, allowing me to have a way to express how I feel.
As they say, though, all good things come to an end. On the first day of school this year I felt a new fear. It was as strong as the fear I'd felt as a freshman, but it wasn't the same. This time, I wasn't scared of how I'd do in school, but what I would be doing afterwards. I guess you could say I have chronophobia, or, a fear of the future. The fear itself seems logical; there are many people who are scared of the unknown or what time could bring them. This was probably the most irrational feeling that I've ever experienced, though- and that says a lot as I'd spent the second half of my junior year saying that I was "in love" with a boy who I knew would never feel the same- and I let it consume me.
As a senior in high school you are supposed to get ready for the future, you are supposed to plan ahead, but you aren't supposed to let your last year slip away. As much fun as I have had this year with my friends and family, I can admit that stress has left me feeling like my time has been wasted.I have three months until graduation and feel like I've accomplished nothing and feel like I'm definitely not ready to move on from here. I know that we all have to grow up and move on, but the uncertainty of what is ahead isn't easy for me to deal with.
My friends have made all of this easier, and we've made a pact to stay with each other as much as possible in the future. Knowing that I have them by my side to help me through things makes the thought of moving on more bearable. With them by my side, I can do anything. With my friends by my side, I can be fearless.
Everybody needs someone else in their life when they feel like they can't stand alone. Those people who are close to you can help you achieve your best you. What I've learned from all of this is to live in the moment and stop worrying about what tomorrow will be. Go out and spend time with your friends. Laugh more. Because time will go on with or without you, but it is up to you if you will allow it to make your bolder or if you will let everyone else around you drown you out.
