I believe in the expression that, "timing is everything." But I think that the expression can be simplified down to just the fact that time, itself, is everything. Time is the clock ticking. Time is the distance between us as we are now, us as we have been, and us as who we will be. Time dictates everything we do, whether it is subconscious or not. Everyone spends so much of their time counting down the months, the days, the hours, the minutes. It is like we don't care about the time we have now because we are constantly wasting it by waiting for the next big thing to happen. But what about right here, right now, this moment? With life, we are given all of this time without fully realizing how fast it will pass us if we don't slow down to enjoy it in the meantime.
I once read a quote that said, "Today is the oldest you have ever been, and the youngest you will ever be again." And it made me realize that I've lost all this time between who I once was and who I am going to be by simply not appreciating the time when it was there. Where did it all go? It was so easy to take that time for granted. I remember my third birthday. I remember waking up and jumping out of bed, running out into the living room of my old house on my old street and yelling, "I'm three!!!" I was overjoyed, and that is all I remember, because it was so long ago. But was it really so long ago? Because I feel like I laid down for a nap and woke up 18 years later, but now I'm 21 and I don't even want to get out bed. Where did those years go? I guess I was living, but I don't know if I really lived it to its fullest. Then I remember getting off the bus for the first time and walking into my kindergarten classroom with my mom holding my hand. My eyes were wide and innocent and I was dreaming about this whole life I had laid out in front of me, wishing so badly that I could do it all then. Everything seemed so far away. Now I'm on my way to class for my last, first day of college and my eyes are heavy and tired.
When I was little I kept wishing time away, wanting to grow up, but now more than ever I can feel my time slipping through my fingers like sand falling through an hour glass. Where has my time gone? Where is my time going? I still feel that little girl inside my heart, and I would follow Peter Pan to Neverland in a heartbeat if it meant I could get some of my time back and halt this thing called growing up that we all have to do.
Stop counting down to the weekend, stop counting down to next week, next month, next year. Start counting the number of times you laughed today, the number of times you smiled today. The number of times you can think back this week and say, "Yeah, I had a good day." Because life isn't all about wasting away its precious hours. Life is about getting up in the morning, seeing the sun shining, and deciding that today you're just going to live. Don't obsess over time, don't count down to something better that is supposed to happen. Just do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and be okay with that. Make the most of your time when you have it so that one day you won't be looking back wondering where it all went. Until they invent a time machine, you won't be able to get back all that time you wished away, so do yourself a favor now and live right now. That way, you can't be sad that your time has passed by because it won't have been wasted.