The week before Christmas, I watched my four-year relationship and three-year engagement walk out the door, bags packed.

I crumbled.

I spent weeks crying at the drop of a hat, and cried until my eyes were swollen. I listened to rumors swirl around, refusing to entertain a single one. I drank my sorrows away, wasn’t sleeping, and felt like the life I had grown so accustomed to living was gone forever. As many times as people told me, “It will get better,” I was convinced that I would never be the same again. Come to find out, I was right. Little by little, something happened.

I found the good in goodbye.

I wasn’t the same person. Slowly, and on my own terms, I put the pieces of me back together, differently and better than before. I traded shots for squats, started drinking more water, and bought fewer meals from a drive-thru. I watched my self-confidence climb and my outlook on life do a full 180-degree turn. My smile became less forced, my skin became brighter, and I started to find happiness and appreciation for my newfound independence.

I’m not someone who would wish bad things on a person, no matter what the situation. However, I am a person who wishes good things on me. After hitting rock bottom and having to dig my way out, I’ve found so many things in my life to be thankful for. I work two jobs, both of which challenge me every day. I’ve finally started feeling comfortable in my own skin. I have the best and most supportive friends I could ever ask for, who push me to be a better person and are the first to hit me with the truth no matter how raw and brutal it might be. I’m fortunate in so many ways and I find more reasons each and every day.

Perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned through all of this is how to be okay with being alone. Two months ago, the thought of sleeping alone was unfathomable. For the first week, I refused my own bed, crashing at friends’ houses or on my own couch instead. The first night sleeping alone, in a bed I shared for four years, was sleepless. Simple tasks such as grocery shopping for just myself, or pulling into an empty driveway at night brought me to tears. Little by little it got easier. Now, I sleep starfish-style in the middle of my bed and coming home to an empty house still isn’t my favorite, but it’s manageable. I don’t dread the thought of doing things alone anymore and sometimes I even enjoy having time to myself.

The harsh reality of life sometimes is that two people can love each other enough to let each other go. As bad as it hurt to watch someone walk out the door and out of my life, it healed like any wound; slowly and delicately. Happiness is still a stage of my life I’m working toward every day and some days are easier than others. I have days where I’m more insecure or feel like I’m constantly waiting for someone to walk out the door again. I’m learning how to love myself so that I can better love the people around me and although it’s an uphill climb, it’s a climb that makes me stronger. I have no regrets or hard feelings, only lessons learned.

That being said, the best lesson I could have ever taught myself is how to find the good in goodbye. And the good keeps getting better every day.