Crack. Coke. Eh, same difference.

So, this was summer 2015 and I was in Los Angeles for the summer interning and living it UP. Kind of. One night in June I ending up going to Hollywood to bar hop & be cute. Not even drinking! So prissy. My homegirl Ayana calls me and asks if I could pick her up. I make my way to the bar she was at, feeling grown (hint: I ain't grown).

Yana and her friends all get in the car and I remember having to clean it all out because I JUST got put out of my living arrangement (funny story - that's a different article boo). My whole life was in my trunk! Tragic. I felt like I was on sitcom: black girl goes to LA to follow her dreams and gets put out. Lives in her car for a week. Disney really should hit me up for that series plot.

Anyway, through shifting through shoes, underwear, a wig or two (you gotta keep people on their toes) I thought I put my phone in my door. Keyword: thought. We take off into traffic from Hollywood back towards USC campus. A cute drive, honestly.

We get all the way back to Ayana's place and I'm dead tired. Ready to pass out. I'm like "oh can one of y'all get my phone?" I was confident it was back there and I pranced out the car like a dumbass. Ten minutes later and my phone was nowhere to be FOUND.

PANIC

Y'all gotta understand that my mama would not buy me another phone unless my current one exploded. For real. I had only had one other phone since I was 17... and that last one had to fall in dirty toilet water for her to replace it. This was real. Ayana lets me login to Find My iPhone and we see that it's back in Hollywood. How?

I'm speeding down whatever highway and Ayana is tracking my phone. We park where I picked the girls up and my phone was not there. Tears. My mama about to slap me. Somehow. She'll figure out a way. Ayana tells me my phone was moving...? On the map the phone was just taking an adventure. It's 4 AM and we're following the map as the phone moved. Who in the world is running a 5k with my phone?! We get to a location after the phone stopped moving on the map and no one was out there. In fact, the app showed that the phone was in an abandoned building. What kind of horror movie is this?

I see a group of dudes "rapping" on one end of the street and a guy sitting on a curb on the other end. Then this abandoned building in the middle. I'm lost. I told Ayana to play a sound on the phone. We hear the sound and it took a minute for me to register what the hell is happening. I look forward and see the guy on the curb ... unbothered like my phone wasn't ringing in his little hand.

HE WAS HIGH AS A KITE IN THE SUMMER SKY.

I mean, cracked out. Sitting there like he didn't hear my phone (maybe he didn't?). For a second I thought "this can't be real". That's MY phone? I just stared at him in the street for 2 minutes in disbelief. I start walking up to this guy...

Jesus must've been holding my hands because I walked up to my little friend on the curb and go "Soooo, that's my phone..."

Here's what I thought he was about to do:

Here's what really happened:

He pauses. Looks around. Looks up at me with a straight face and shrugs "you right." He hands me my phone. Ayana by this point is BLOWN. She's looking at me and I'm looking at him like:

I truly thought he was going to end me. You had to be there. Have you ever approached a stranger on the street who was a drug addict? Ok. I smile, and say thank you. He goes "yeah". We lock eyes for a second and I walk off. "Goodnight... be safe?"

That was one [of many] strange night is Los Angeles. Lord.

Listen. Keep up with your belongings, and ladies don't be out here at 4AM searching for it if you lose it! It's a FUNNY story but in all seriousness that night could've ended way differently. Your life is far more precious than something you can purchase. My advice? Take the L and be glad you didn't risk your safety.

PS - my mama said she would've actually bought me a new one. Not all heroes wear capes.

Pack light, y'all [literally]