I've been a Christian for a solid 15 years or so. I did the VBS thing, the youth group thing, the working in ministry thing, and the Christian college thing. My life is relatively normal -- nowhere near perfect, but semi-normal. I grew up in a great church, had good friends, and eventually married the man of my dreams. I've been blessed beyond belief and all of these things have brought such joy to my life. With all of this being said, here's the catch: I struggle with anxiety and depression.

This last year, I was having frequent, crippling panic attacks. I recall one instance where I felt one coming on in the middle of class. My chest began to tighten, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I started to cry uncontrollably. In the middle of class. I was completely mortified. I decided to start seeing a counselor at my college to try and work through my anxiety. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I was dealing with these things because I had never heard other Christians experiencing talk about it.

It's not something I typically bring up in conversation, for many reasons, but the biggest reason is because the church has a tendency to look down on those who deal with these things. Despite our greatest efforts to try and convince other people that being a Christian doesn't make our lives perfect, we get caught up in thinking we must be. Sunday morning we are dressed up, coffee in hand, all smiles.

You see, the church is pretty "hush hush" when it comes to anxiety and depression, despite how common it really is. When 19 million Americans are suffering from depression, there's a good chance that at least some of them are Christians, so why are we not talking about this openly? It's time that the church takes this subject off the back burner and starts talking about what we can do.

Let me be clear: The church needs to have a new and improved conversation about anxiety and depression, because slapping a "Jesus bandaid" on us and doing nothing else is not working.

We don't need to hear that these battles come from our own doing. We've been told that if we just prayed a little bit more, read our Bible a little bit more, or got involved in more ministries we would feel happy. These are great tools and essential parts of fighting anxiety and depression, however, these are blanket statements that don't do much to help those who are struggling, despite the greatest of intentions.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying God doesn't have the power to heal these illnesses. I 100% believe He is capable and does so everyday. The point I am trying to make is that the church needs to reexamine their approach to aiding those who are dealing with such things. Telling us we feel depressed because we don't love God enough isn't working. The truth is I love Jesus, but sometimes I can't make myself get out of bed in the morning.

Ecclesiastes says so eloquently that "There is nothing new under the sun" and I believe that anxiety and depression is included in this. Many theologians even believe that Abraham, Elijah, Jeremiah, and King David battled bouts of anxiety and depression in their lifetimes.

David is one of my favorite people in the Bible because he is so relatable. In one psalm he is praising God and giving thanks for His blessings and in the next he is saying that the Lord has forgotten him altogether. Shoot, I feel this on a spiritual level. Some days I get up early, go to the gym, drink green smoothies, and smile all day. Other days I only get out of bed to drink coffee and I feel so anxious that I don't want to leave my house. But I love Jesus.

I've found more comfort in David's dark, depressing psalms than I ever have by someone quoting 1 Peter 5:7 at me and telling me to just "stop being anxious." Reading Psalm 13 brings me such hope because I see David deep in depression, yet proclaiming that God is bigger and He is still good. I read that and think "I can do this" because although I am so weak, the power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead is alive and living in me!

I recently read a book by John Mark Comer titled "My Name is Hope," where the author discusses his own struggle with anxiety and depression and finding hope in Christ. He discusses the idea that God is more concerned with the status of our soul, than the momentary emotions of our troubled hearts. God will hide His face in order for us to seek Him so desperately and become so secure in our faith that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is still good.

As a church, we should be studying and referencing these stories of real people in the Bible who felt these same feelings in order to comfort those living with anxiety and depression. We need to stop throwing out blanket advice, randomly picking out of context verses, and trying to apply the same naive advice to every person.

My hope is that the church would mature in their approach to anxiety and depression and address it like they would any other current event. We need to start providing classes on working through mental illness, support groups on how to aid others, and just overall stop trying to sequester anxiety and depression into the shadows.

It's time to bring anxiety and depression into the light because that is where healing power resides.