"Chin up!" "You know you'd be prettier if you would smile more!" "Oh, your life isn't that bad!" "Just think happy thoughts!" "No one wants to hear about your problems, there are people dying!" Why should I smile when I feel horrible? Why should I keep my chin up when I'd rather be inside under a blanket? Why are my problems insignificant, just because someone out there has it worse? Why is it so terrible of me to express the fact that I am having a bad day?
The internet is a high light reel of our lives, all of our lives, and as such we tend to only post the good things. We post the selfie that we look hot as hell in, we post that concert video, we post a funny picture of our pet, but god forbid you post a somber quote, then you're attention seeking. This phenomenon is doing more harm than good. Life is full of ebbs and flows, so whenever you're on a high, eventually you'll hit a low. Everyone has bad, terrible, awful days and yet society has taught us that it's something bad.
"When we numb the darkness, we numb the light," think about that. What Brene Brown means is that by hiding our failures, our disappointments, our bad days, we our doing ourselves a disservice. In order to realize that you are having an outstanding day, you must first experience a horrible day. In a way we have to celebrate the lows, in order to cherish the highs. Why is going out and telling the world, "hey, I'm having an awful day," so taboo? You're surviving! You are in the midst of a dreadful moment in your life and you are still participating in life, that is something to celebrate! Our bad days should not be hidden behind the doors of our souls, they should be sitting right on our front porch.
It is time we change the way we react to our negative emotions
Be open with yourself and those around you. Express the way you feel, say "hey, I'm having a bad day and would prefer to be left alone," or maybe you would rather be surrounded by friends, either way express it. Trust me, hiding how you feel does nothing for your mental health. If you don't feel like going out with your friends, simply explain why and if they're good friends they'll understand. No good comes from pretending you're happy when you really aren't. You won't be stuck in the bad day forever, it does get better, but until it does do not feel like you have to hide it. Take care of yourself, feed yourself, do something you enjoy, get some extra sleep and eventually the negative emotions will pass.
If only one person expresses their negative emotions then they are seen as attention seeking, but if we all start celebrating our bad days then we can break down the social norm. Living in a constant swirl of positivity seems like a good idea, but when you feel like you're the only one who has bad days the constant positivity does more harm than good. It's one thing to look on the bright side, but you can't live on it. Every once in awhile you have to say "I am sad, and it will pass, but for right now I do not want to pretend that I am happy," and you have to celebrate the bad.
