One in five college women will be sexually assaulted this year unless something changes.
This is the message that plays at the end of Lady Gaga’s video for her powerful new rock ballad “'Til It Happens To You,” which premiered on Sept. 18. Intensely distinctive from her earlier quirky hits and persona, the song was originally written for a documentary about campus sexual violence, The Hunting Ground, released last February.
The video is preceded by the warning, “The following contains graphic content that may be emotionally unsettling but reflects the reality of what is happening daily on college campuses.” True to its word, the video is dark, somber, likely to give you stomachache, and accompanied by Gaga’s strong, deep voice and raw, honest lyrics. The storyline depicts several college women being raped at fraternity parties and in dorm rooms and follows their struggle to overcome such an emotionally destructive event.
(Watch the video here.)
We all know five college women. If you’re in high school, think about your older sister and her friends, or your friends’ older sisters. If you’re in college, think about the girls from your graduating class now at different schools all around the country. Think about the countless friends you’ve made at your own school. Think about the 70 girls in your pledge class, the 200 girls in your sorority. That’s a lot of girls -- a lot of girls who, statistically speaking, some of which will become a victim of sexual assault within this year. Unless something changes.
It’s the kind of thing no one likes talking about, the kind of thing we all like to pretend doesn’t actually happen. "It’s just in the news," we say. "My guy friends would never do that," we say. That would never happen to me, we say. But the cold, hard truth of the matter is that it’s not just in the news, at least one of your guy friends probably will do it, and it can happen to you.
In eight out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knows the assaulter. On college campuses, it’s nine out of 10. Nearly one in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner in her lifetime. More than 90 percent of sexual assaults on college campuses are not reported (National Sexual Violence Resource Center). The statistics are endless, each more disturbing than the next. Sexual assault is real, it’s prevalent, and it’s everywhere. It’s happening in homes, in the workplace, and on your college campus.
Be the change you wish to see in the world; this might be the kind of cheesy and cliché quote found on bulletin boards in third grade classrooms, but it's still accurate and relevant. No one should ever have to experience the horrific events shown in Gaga’s video. The campus sexual violence trend needs to stop -- so be the change.
Girls, look out for each other. If your friend is giving you the look from across the bar because the boy she flirted with for a free drink doesn’t seem to think that drink should be for free, walk over and kindly tell him to f**k off. Don't let your friends go home with sketchy boys. Don't turn the other way if you see someone being sexually harassed or assaulted. Get help, call the police, tell someone -- doing just about anything is better than doing nothing. Look out for each other and more importantly, look out for yourself. Be aware of your surroundings, be smart, know your limits, and never do anything you don’t want to do.
Boys, grow the hell up. There is absolutely no excuse for sexually assaulting someone. None. Zero. It doesn’t matter if you were blacked out or if she was. It doesn't matter if she was being a tease. Taking advantage of someone’s body isn’t just a physical offense; it’s taking advantage of their mind, their freedom, and their right to make decisions.
Think about it this way, boys: imagine having to tell your future wife that you raped a girl while you were in college. It’s not a drunken mistake; it’s not a stupid decision you can wish to take back. It’s not forgivable and it’s certainly not forgettable. It is a judge of character and it is one of the worst things you can do to another human being. It is something that will cause you to lose friends, respect, and self-worth. All because you couldn’t keep it in your pants? Seems like a heavy price to pay.
One in 5 college women will be sexually assaulted this year unless something changes -- so let's make sure something changes. You don’t want to have to understand “'til it happens to you.”
