On January 8, 2011, an article circulated around the nation provoking a truly controversial debate about the stereotype of Chinese education/parenting. This article named “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” is written by a second generation Chinese author narrating her successful (yet incredibly strict) method of educating her children into obedient and respectful kids. She emphasizes the leniency of “Western education,” and flatters the results of Chinese education. The author, Amy Chua, provides very persuasive arguments as to why Chinese mothers are more successful in raising genius babies. It’s even evident among fellow peers that Chinese students tend to end up fairly more successful at an early age. Although I disagree with the argument that Chua presented, I did experience many of the methods Chua discusses in her claim. From experience, I’ve formed a cemented opinion that her so-called “Western (American) education” is a healthier form of parenting compared to the uniformity of Chinese teaching.
America is known as the “Land of Opportunity,” and this nation defiantly backs up the statement. Through my years from elementary to high school, I was constantly encouraged by my parents to join competitions of all subjects. This enforces a healthy attitude towards learning and friendliness towards competitions, while Chinese parents implement pressure on specific subjects of math and science. Chinese parents do not seek talent, and pay an overemphasized amount of attention on one specific study, coercing their child to repeatedly perform the same task until “perfection,” regardless of the child’s distaste for the subject. This consequentially results in the alienation of the child if he/she does not produce desired outcomes, psychologically destructing the child’s self-esteem and self-worth. The awkwardness of most Chinese children is quite evident, and being Chinese myself, I can justifiably attest my agreement. Their restriction of opportunity to socialize with others of the same age group ensures their habit of being alone, therefore developing a nervousness when interacting with others. The American way of parenting is quite the opposite, where children are encouraged to play with others, make friends, and learn the basics of communication for current and future use.
Two of the most disagreeable elements of Chinese parenting are the applications of physical and psychological punishments. Chinese parents often feel the need to enforce a lesson through physical methods (spanks, slaps across the face, etc.). Although the lesson may be enforced, the child does not have a full understanding of why this regulation was established, and feels fearful towards what the parents will do rather than a moral understanding as to why it’s wrong to break the rule. These inadequate punishments are shown through psychological approaches. The entire female side of my mother’s family suffers from bipolar disorder, and a major part of this is due to the self-esteem issues instituted by my grandmother when they were young. It is often noted that Chinese mothers are especially cruel and straight forward in their manner of speech to their children, and my grandmother was no exception. When my mom was a child, my grandmother would often say to her, “look at all those other girls, they’re so beautiful, respectful, and smart, unlike you,” and the years of psychological torments have led to my mother’s insecurities about herself. A huge benefit of having supportive roles as parents is the establishment of self-worth, which is lacked by a myriad of my Chinese acquaintances due to the deprivation of support they received when they were children.
Individualism is one of the fundamental building blocks in which this country was constructed upon, and the same idea reflects the teaching manners of parents in America. Kids in this country are given the opportunity to search for a passion and accomplish their own goals, not aspirations made by their mothers when they were born. I always thought the “you’re going to be a doctor” joke was just a sarcastic and racially unsuitable remark about Asians in general. It wasn’t until I met more Chinese children that I realized most of them legitimately did intend on getting a medical degree. When I questioned their purpose, most told me it was not their decision, but rather their parent’s verdict. Seeking a passion in life is one of the most exciting journeys we’ll undergo, and to be told what to do in life is the very thing we try to escape. Being told where to generate our energy goes against the reason for living; imagine if Bill Gates had been forced by his parents to be a doctor.
Self-motivation and confidence are the keys to being successful in a Western society, while survival of the smartest is the only shot at becoming success, according to Chinese parents. The parenting style in Western societies is best described as “encouraging,” though it is implied that a little competition can’t hurt anyone. Humans have the natural tendency to compete and improve, and both education systems try to bring out this instinct, whether directly applied or quietly implied. It’s obvious that parents don’t want their kids to end up being a burden on society, whether or not cultural differences are taken into account. Chinese mothers are inclined to think they care about their children more because they directly monopolize their children’s results in life. There’s a saying in China, the literal translation goes something like this: “every time your mother hits you it’s because she loves you, and every time she yells at you, it’s because she cares about you.” American parents, on the other hand, hold pride in the belief that children will naturally learn to grasp the concept of morality and discipline by going through life with the approval of making choices. However, Western mothers are inclined to believe that getting cut while playing with scissors is the best way to learn how to handle sharp objects.
Both Chinese and Western cultures care greatly about the outcome of their children. Though both cultures love their children greatly, the manner of showing affection is varied. Through the pressure and stress I’ve seen on so many Chinese kids, I’m incredibly relieved that my mother chose to run the Western route. Maybe America is a little lenient on kids, but I’d prefer the results of individualism to a future of children brought up to think in uniformity.
