"Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there, I did not die."

-Anonymous

Everyone, at some point in their life, has lost a person very close and important to them. Whether it be a grandparent, parent, aunt or uncle, cousin, sibling, child, or dear friend, no one can say that they haven’t lost one. I myself told one grandpa, my mother’s father, goodbye at the young age of five. Too young to understand what it truly meant, yet knowing that he wouldn’t speak to me again. Later on, at the age of 12, I would lose my great-grandfather, my father’s grandpa, now knowing what exactly this meant. The next to leave me would be my grandma, my mother’s mom. I was 15. This time though, I shed no tears, as someone else needed my strength to sustain theirs. At 17, I lost my great-grandmother, my father’s grandpa. It was a blessing, as she was not able to communicate and suffered from a disease which affected her speech and other parts of her mind. Then, at 18, I lost my brother. I missed a week of college, but it was worth it, and I would do the same again if I could re-do that week. But just because I lost these people does not mean they are truly dead. Yes, clinically, they are, however there are many ways in which they are able to show you that, just because they aren’t physically in your presence, they are with you. Three common ways for them to tell you they are there involve dreams, animals/insects, and objects. Often after someone passes into the next life, loved ones have dreams- dreams that make them feel warm and loved—about their lost ones. Other times, during waking hours of the day, they may be taking a walk or just enjoying the scenery and here lands a bird, or a butterfly, or a dragonfly, and the person feels like they know this bird, or butterfly, or dragonfly. The person realizes that this animal or insect is not like others of its kind. The may not figure it out right away, but that feeling will stick with them until they realize why it seemed so familiar. With objects, people may find something moved from a desk or dresser to the middle of a hallway, to a different table or surface, than where it usually is. Other people have found coins, buttons, and other such random objects that they have never seen before, in odd places they wouldn’t normally find them. This could be a loved one telling you they are near. They want you to know they aren’t truly dead. They are demonstrating that they are always with you, watching over you and protecting you, no matter what. They want you to keep from missing them too much, even though they know you will always miss them.

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes;
and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying,
neither shall there be any more pain;
for the former things are passed away.”

Revelation 21:4

Yes, you can go to their grave site, stand or sit by their headstone, and talk to them. It’s a good place to go for a quiet conversation, and they enjoy it. That is one place where you and your loved one can be the closest. They follow you everywhere you go, so even if you aren’t at their stone they will still be with you and you can still talk to them. They become every element surrounding you—the wind, the rain, the sun, the clouds, and the trees and streams. Never did they truly leave you, nor will they ever leave you. Not totally. Search deep into your heart and there you will find them sitting, traveling everywhere you do, making the same movements as you that day. You are the reason they are still alive. They live through you. They live through your memory. I leave you with this:

“Fill not your heart with pain and sorrow,
But remember me in every tomorrow.
Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles,
I’ve only gone to rest a little while.
Although my leaving causes pain and grief,
My going has eased my pain and given me relief.
So dry your eyes and remember me,
Not as I am now, but as I used to be.
Because I will remember you all and look on with a smile,
Understand in your hearts,
I’ve only gone to rest a little while.”

-Unknown