"She's a slut..."

We've all been there, these words have been in our vocabulary probably more often than none. You hear about a girl and who she has slept with and the first thought in your mind or phrase that is said aloud is "well she is a slut". You don't know why you just automatically jump to use a word so harsh, but you do. Not knowing nor understanding the harmful effects your words can have on someone's well-being. Society has burned this idea in our heads, that if she is comfortable with her body and has sex, then she is a slut.

A "slut" is defined by Dictionary.com as " a sexually promiscuous woman or a woman who behaves or dresses in an overtly sexual way." I know many of you are thinking, "well yea we know this already, get to the point". My point here is to make you think about the many times you have gone out with your girls to the bar or a party, and you have dressed in what you feel is sexy, and people have told you that you look sexy. That right there makes you a slut... by definition. You are overtly making yourself an object of sex, but that does not mean you are one, just because you want to feel and look sexy.

Amber Rose, who many view as a sex symbol, took to television one day and explained to two grown men why their slut shaming is idiotic. In the interview, Rev. Run said: "dress how you want to be addressed." Here is my issue with that statement, and Amber Rose alluded to it in her response to what he said. If you are going out with your girls and you want to look cute and sexy you are going to look cute and sexy, for yourself. What most men do not realize is that woman get dressed a certain way for themselves, they put makeup on for themselves. If you are dressed and feel sexy, then work it girl. You have the right to say no to any man that tries to approach you. You are not "asking for it" nor "some stupid hoe" because you are wearing a short skirt or a fitted dress. Though I am not one to agree with posting nude photos of myself on the internet or social media, I feel as though Kim Kardashian, who is notoriously known for showing off her nude body, was right when she stated in a letter written after receiving backlash from the post of her nude photo on her twitter page: “I am empowered by my sexuality… I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls all over the world… The body-shaming and slut-shaming—its like, enough is enough.”

I am in no way saying that one should go around posting naked selfies everywhere or dress inappropriately, but what I am saying is why are people so quick to say that we as women should love the beauty of our bodies and are capable of doing whatever a man can? But as soon as a woman posts an image with just a little extra skin showing then it is a huge deal. It is baffling to me that the image of a man with only his penis covered receives such positive feedback, but when a woman posts a picture of her in a bikini she is now a slut, what is the difference? Both images are bodies that are barely covered. What makes this girl a slut, is it because she is comfortable with her body to post a picture of her bikini-clad?

I, myself, use to be an avid slut shamer. Though I still have moments where I will fall into the whole "she's a slut" thought, it wasn't until I was slut shamed that I realized that slut shaming is hurtful, especially in a world where women are consistently being told how to look and act. I was being slut-shamed merely because of what people thought they knew about me. People thought that because my five closest friends are male, that I was having sexual relations with all of them; because I was a confident individual, who was not afraid to speak out on matters that bothered me, I had to be a slut mainly because I was apparently craving attention. I was getting slut-shamed, and I was not even dressing promiscuous (my daily attire consists of sweatpants and t-shirts).

Why are only men allowed to dive into life's pleasures? A man sleeps with a lot of women he is suddenly "the man," but when the roles are reversed and it is a woman who is sleeping with a lot of men she is a slut. I am not condoning the activity of sleeping with many individuals, but I just don't understand why it is ok for a man to sleep with 20+ women, and obscene for a woman to do the same. We are fighting for equality here, not just in the workplace, but in life. If a woman wants to enjoy sex, who are we to tell her that it is wrong to do so. Who are we to shame a girl for having sex when she isn't in a relationship, but praise the boy that does exactly the same.

I am a Catholic, God-fearing woman, who is writing an article about anti-slut shaming. Anyone who is a Christian of any specific denomination, should not be proud to state that they are a confident slut shamer. Jesus, the son of God, said himself "He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone " (John 8:7). I know that I have sinned many a time in my life, so who am I to call a woman out of her name because she has committed what is deemed by society as a sin. Do not use God as a way to back up the negativity that you have in your heart towards a female who is indulging in life's pleasures.

Slut shaming has got to end. A previous article that condoned slut shaming stated "someday, you are going to meet a wonderful man, and he’s going to love you a whole lot. He’s going to find out that you slept with X number of people and it's going to break his heart." Frankly, I don't think I would want to be with anyone who begins to not love me as much because I have had sexual relations with a few people. If someone cares about you and they are a grown adult, they will not stop loving you for something as small as that. Now if you are not being safe while having sexual relations with other people that is a different story (no glove, no love people). A boy is someone who is worried about these kinds of things, a man will learn to appreciate you for you, flaws and all.

Eventually, I will become a mother. Eventually, my younger sisters will grow up. I want them to make their own choices, live their lives. Whatever path they decide to choose, I want them to not be afraid to make that choice because they fear how society and other individuals will view them. I want them to live in a world, where they are not judged simply based on the outfit that they have on, or who they hang out with. I never want them to fear comments that are going to be made if they post a picture of them in a bathing suit. I want them to enjoy life, which is something that they will never do if they are constantly worried about whether people will think they are a slut for doing so.

So, my fellow people, think before you speak. Is calling that girl a slut truly worth it or are you doing it out of spite? To those females that confidently strut through life continue strutting. Never allow anyone to sit high and mighty looking low on you and judge your actions. Every single person has a part of their life that they would rather not disclose.