Three years ago, I remember going to the first LaSalle football game of the year. I was super excited to hang out with my friends and see people that I haven't seen all summer. The night was full of excitement and I left the game so excited that my junior year kicked off the right way.

The next morning, I woke up and could feel that something was wrong. I didn't know what it was, so I played it off and thought it was just me waking up. I checked social media, and I kept seeing tweets saying "I can't believe it." I started texting all of my friends frantically and thoroughly checking social media to figure out what happened. Then, I got the text saying "Rachel McGrath died in a car accident last night."

I started crying and I called one of my best friends, Adam. I begged him to tell me that it wasn't true. He kept telling me the words I didn't want to hear. I couldn't stop crying on the phone with him because I didn't want to believe it. I called everyone I knew, so I had someone to talk to. I felt so alone.

My mom walked into my room, expecting me to be asleep and immediately came to my side. She kept asking me what was wrong and I somehow managed to say "Rachel McGrath passed away in a car accident last night" through my tears. My mom looked at me in shock, like I had my head on backwards. She kept comforting me, attempting to have me calm down. It took a long time, but I eventually stopped crying long enough to tell her what I knew, just to start crying all over again.

Later that day, people that knew Rachel personally gathered in the chapel in LaSalle High School and it was such an emotional experience. We all got the chance to get up and tell stories about Rachel and I opened up about how sorry I was. The last time I ever talked to Rachel, we were in an argument. It was over the dumbest thing and I will always regret that it was my last conversation I would ever have with her, I cried my eyes out but I was so grateful for my friends to hug me and tell me that Rachel wouldn't hold that against me.

Going to school that week was hard. No one at my school knew Rachel and it was hard when Rachel would be in our prayer intentions. I tried my best to hold it together during the school day, but I spent multiple hours in the bathroom crying my eyes out. I wished more than anything that whole week that I went to McAuley so I could be with my friends and have that support system. It was easily the worst week of my life.

One week after the accident was the funeral and I thought I could do it. I went to the visitation and that was all I could handle. I wanted to remember Rachel as the bubbly girl she was and not hear more about her passing. I was still processing it all and I couldn't handle the pain of losing a good friend anymore.

Now, three years later, it still doesn't feel real that Rachel is gone. I'll look at old pictures from high school and think of her. I'll wear something pink and end up thinking about you. I'll hear old songs from high school and think of her. Rachel, I'm sorry you left so soon. I wish every day of my life that you were still here, kicking ass in college and impacting everyone's lives. I know you're dancing your heart out up there in heaven and I hope when I join you up there one day, you'll save a dance for me. Stay gold.